Burleson Star (Burleson, Tex.), Vol. 22, No. 32, Ed. 1 Thursday, January 29, 1987 Page: 20 of 32
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6
4B—Burleson Star, Thursday. January 29,1987
Dear Eugenia
Time for kids to leave
Dear Eugenia
A few years ago I married a
widower who has four grown
children ranging from mid-20’s
to mid-30’s. Two of them are
constantly moving In and out of
the house. When one leaves
after 3*5 months, the other
moves in and vice versa. (Some-
thing, objects or money always
turns up missing).
When I say something to my
husband about the constant
moving in and out, he gets mad
at me. He says he Is all they
have and If they have to move
In, they never ask him or me
they just do It, he is going to
make them feel welcome. He
says this was their home first
before I came.
My questions to you are: (1) At
what age should a child no lon-
ger be the responsibility of a
parent (2) Do I, as a second
wife have any legal and/or
moral rights at all living In my
husband's, his deceased wife’s
and his kid’s home?
These kids come In and just
flat take over everything. We
can’t even watch our usual pro-
grams on TV. They start chang-
ing channels. They won’t work
at a job or contribute to clean-
ing house or mowing the lawn. I
have never seen such a lazy boy
and girl. I work and come home
sometimes very tired and there
won’t be any food In the house
because they have been cooking
and eating all day. Dirty dishes,
pots and pans will be every-
where...even in the den.
My husband insists on buying
the groceries and so he buys one
day at a time, but there is never
anything to eat at night unless
he goes to the store for extra. He
says I am awful to complain,
after all it’s him who buys the
groceries and if I don’t like it I
can leave.
He says I am selfish to com-
plain when they have prized
record collections and other
treasured items of mine.
The way he acts you would
think I was the theif and not.
them. Is It O.K. because MY ~
belongings are in their home
or what?
Please help me with an
in yi
my last nope,
ford to move now because I am
paying for my own car and have
some other small personal bills.
I really love my husband but I
don't know what to do. He
defends and makes excuses for
them no matter what they do
and they know it
Signed,
Beaten Down
Dear Beaten Down,
Your letter shows you are feel-
ing very uncomfortable about
your home situation. The main
issue however is not what seems
to be on the surface. The irres-
ponsibility ot your husband’s two
adult children.
While they are part of the pro-
blem, their interference is only
possible because your husband
allows it He is the one who needs
to draw the line when it comes to
his children’s behavior. So far he
is not setting limits for them and
has not let them know what is or
is not acceptable to both of
you.
He would need to do this for
his sake, your sake and the sur-
vival of your relationship and the
young adult’s sake as well. Ob-
viously he is not feeling imposed
upon while you are and this may
or may not change.
You need to ask yourself two
things, first, do you feel like you
could perhaps try to communi-
cate with your husband's child-
ren? I hate to think they are such
a lost cause. Second, you would
have to take an honest look at
your marital communication and
your mutual committment. I am
very concerned that your hus-
band tells you that if you do not
like things you may leave. What
are the reasons you both got
married to each other?
I hope the two of you are able
to see through the real meaning
of your relationship and make
vour trade-offs which are nec-
essary in a marriage to survive
and grow.
Eugenia
Topic to be Medicare
at Februaiy meeting
All interested members of the Burleson community are invited to at-
tend the Feb. 3 meeting of the Burleson Chapter of American Association
of Retired Persons (AARP), where a speaker will present information of
great importance to all citizens.
Travis Plumlee, a Burleson resident and also director of social services
for All Saints Episcopal Hospital, will speak on Medicare and supplemen-
tal insurance at the monthly meeting.
The meeting is planned for 1 p.m., Feb. 3, at the First Christian Church,
601 S.W. Johnson Street, where all local AARP chapter meetings
are held.
For more information call 295-6611.
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Quitters Increase
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Moody, James. Burleson Star (Burleson, Tex.), Vol. 22, No. 32, Ed. 1 Thursday, January 29, 1987, newspaper, January 29, 1987; Burleson, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth761134/m1/20/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Burleson Public Library.