Texas Gulf Coast Catholic (Corpus Christi, Tex.), Vol. 10, No. 6, Ed. 1 Friday, June 7, 1974 Page: 2 of 12
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TEXAS GULF COAST CATHOLIC
Friday,, June 7, 1974
ANNUAL GIFT
Family Clinic
“I’m All Mixed Up
By James J. Rue, Ph.D.
I become discouraged very easily, but I
hide it behind sarcastic remarks to my
girlfriends at school. I don’t do well in my
classes, and I pretend that 1 don’t care.
My father is too busy being a big executive
to notice me or any of my brothers or sisters.
And 1 hate my stepmother. She isn’t a bad
person, but my father married her too soon
after my mother died.
I fee, so lonely. 1 don’t have any real friends
because I lose my temper over trifles.
1 am 15 an , ' thought this was supposed to
be a carefree a^<; in life. But mine is muddled.
Sometimes 1 would like to go to my
stepmother and cry my heart out. 1 think she
would laugh at me, so I keep my distance
from her.
You are undergoing extra stress in ar
adolescence made more difficult by your
father’s sudden marriage. Your negative
personality traits may have existed prior to
your father’s marriage, but even if they did
not, they are now obstructing your
opportunities for close and satisfying human
relationships.
Sometimes the most direct approach is the
best way to achie ve a goal. You want love and
understanding from your stepmother. At the
same time you are hesitant about revealing
your needs. These feelings may baffle you
because you do not understand why you feel
the way you do.
It is possible that the memories of love you
have for your natural mother are hindering
you T m growing closer to your stepmother.
You may think that you would be disloyal to
your natural mother if you showed any
affection for your stepmother.
NOT UNUSUAL
Having conflicting feelings in such
circumstances is not unusual. You need to
have love from your stepmother, and she
probably wishes to show love for you, but may
not know how to proceed in view of your
mixed feelings.
Why not tell your stepmother exactly how
you feel about her and your natural mother.
You will find as you mature that the love you
give to your stepmother in no way diminishes
the special love and loyalty you had for your
neural mother.
Once you are able to unburden yourself,
there will probably be an improvement in
other areas of your life, notably youi
relationship with your classmates, and your
attitude toward your lessons.
Because you will grow in self-confidence as
you develop a loving relationship with your
stepmother, your need to be sarcastic,
quick-tempered, and hostile will diminish.
Thus, instead of saying the cruel word to a
girlfriend, you will find something kind or
encouraging to say, and this will reinforce
any feelings of friendship that exist between
you and your schoolmates.
Affectionate warmth and sincerity become
reciprocal, and as you ex’end positive
feelings toward others, you will discover that
you feel better about yourself. Hence, your
feelings of loneliness will dwindle. You will
find as you exchange confidences with
sympathetic friends that they are very much
like you in their search for self-esteem and
independence.
FEELINGS
These positive feelings of love and affection
will serve as an incentive to improve your
schoolwork. You will feel that good grades
are worth the effort because someone at home
loves you and understands you. Moreover,
you will accept your moments of
discouragement as part of the normal
struggle to achieve a higher level of maturity.
You will perceive that it is more important
for yeu to keep trying than to set an
unattainable goal of perfection in class work
or grades. Each gradual improvement you
sustain will serve to encourage you to try the
next step just ahead whether it is in school
work or human relations.
Finally, as you exhibit more positive traits
and enjoy a greater degree of self-esteem,
you may wish to express more love and
understanding toward your father. It may be
that he shows his love for you and the family
by the work he does, and that work may be
very demanding. He may reluctantly give up
time with his family so that he can provide all
of you with a comfortable life.
This is an expression of love, and while it
can be overdoiv , in some instances, you.
might let your father know that you miss his
love and companionship. In this way he will
be most desirous oi .inding time to share with
you.
These changes in your feelings about
yourself and your family relationships will be
a gradual experience. If you allow yourself to
be loved, and try to give love in return the
within the family circle, most of the
difficulties you describe should be consider-
ably mitigated.
“We cannot line the
Holy YeaR as faithful
and Responsible people
unless cue lioe in pRayeR
and by pRayeR’
— Reo. J. SoJano, SJ.
1 he Spirit in Action
Reckless and Unjust Damage
By Fr. Ignatius P. ( hetcuti
We have treated in the previous two
columns about theft as the violation of
property rights. Now we shall tackle the
problem of an action which violates the
property rights of others through reckless-
ness in the use of things entrusted, say, to
employees for the benefit of others, and the
unjust damage of the same property.
It is called unjust damage when a person
has caused harm to the property of another,
regardless of whether or not the offender has
materially benefited by his action. Thus a
nurse who is simply too lazy to procure proper
materials to wipe out spilled drugs but uses
the first clean or soiled pillow case or tears up
a good sheet for the purpose is guilty of unjust
damage; or a worker in a factory who does
not use the proper tools to work with thereby
causing damage to machinery is guilty of
unjust damage; or a waiter who in setting or
cleaning the tables carries piles of crockery
and glasses, more than he can hold, when and
if these break, he is guilty of unjust damage.
Another way of being guilty of unjust damage
is when water faucets are left running or
lights left on unnecessarily, such as when
beams of light are pouring in through the
windows.
The moral obligation to make restitution in
such cases of unjust damage is always
present, no matter how small the damage.
However, three conditions are to be kept in
mind.
First. the damage must have actually
occurred. No doubt, the intention to inflict
damage is sinful, but the obligation to make
restitution is only present when the intention
has materialized. When the property rights of
the other person have not been infringed upon
in a concrete manner, no restitution can be
claimed. The offender might be sinning
internally, but that would not be enough to
compel him to make restitution. Second, the
culprit’s act must be the efficient cause of the
damage. Thus, it so often happens that a
nurse in charge of some particular patient
might ask another nurse to take care of that
patient on a certain night. The latter accepts
the assignment during which she acts
negligently. The regular nurse realizes that if
she had been on the job herself that night no
harm would have occurred. The fact remains,
hat the regular nurse, not being the cause of
the damage, is not morally bound to
restitution. It is to be assumed that, in being
entrusted with the assignment, the latter
nurse was considered capable and reliable
enough to take care of the patient. Third, the
damage must have been done sinfully,
namely, knowingly and willingly. As
explained somewhere else in these columns,
this point should not be misunderstood, as
there are many ways in which knowledge and
freedom may be present in an act. In
contrast, damage may result from a genuine
and unforeseeable accident, as slipping on a
greasy spot while carrying expensive and
essential material, which does not entail
restitution.
Lastly, we should say a word about the
attitudes taken by hospitals, factories, plants,
etc., to counteract damage done by the
employees Some make little mention of it,
and do not expect the employees to pay for
breakage, loss or waste. Others have rigid
regulations requiring them to make good,
sometimes even for mere accidental
breakage. The former feel that regulations
demanding payment for breakage, loss or
waste do more harm than good. They also feel
that the inevitable investigations create ill
feelings between management and personnel
Pressing questions might also create traits of
dishonesty among the recalcitrants to pay.
The attitude of the latter who demand
payment for breakage, loss or waste are
moved by the incentive for carefulness and
economy among those who are quick to
develop habits of carelessness and
wastefulness. Regardless of the regulations
governing breakage, loss or waste, those
employees who are interested in moulding
their characters on ethical ideals must learn
to respect rigidly the property rights of
others. Good judgment is an absolute
prerequisite of the economical employee.
r
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EDITORIALS
J
Our Parish Council
One Answer About What to Do Next
Quite frequently I get a letter that tells me
something about the writer’s parish and a
brief description of their beginning attempts
at organizing a council. What the writer
WANTS TO KNOW NOW IS, ‘What should we
do next?”
The recommendations could be many, but
I’ve boiled them down to three:
SEE CHRIST ACT
Read, study and meditate upon Christ's
By Bernard Lyons
actions in the Gospels.
This can be done in
both
many ways,
individually and in groups.
An individual can read the four Gospels
with that one intent — to see Christ and how
He acted.
The person, in his, or her, own home, can
ready (say, 15 minutes each day) some of the
excellent biographies and studies of Christ.
As a council, and as a small group, the
leadership of the council could promote dialog
ie Mother’s View
Reflections on My
Twentieth Anniversary
By Mary Carson
Twenty years ago today, my husband and I
were filled with optimism as we declared our
vows. We listened to the priest as he read an
exhortation which said we know “disappoint-
ments,” “failures,” “pains,” and “sorrows”
are mingled in every life and were to be
expected in our own.
But we didn’t know.
For, had we really understood all we wonid
face, I don’t think either of us would have had
the courage to get married.
We envisioned mostly “better,” “richer,”
and “health.” Our “happily ever after”
dreams as newlyweds contained little
understanding of real life, and no grasp of
why “joys and sorrows,” “hopes and
disappointments” are linked to each other in
that exhortation.
All the “good things” could have been
grouped; all the “bad things” listed together.
In our minds as newlyweds, it would have
made more sense. When I considered "joys”
and “sorrows,” they were separate instances
. . . unrelated.
It is only now, looking back after twenty
years, that I begin to grasp the greatest joys
are often the outgrowth of sorrow. Success is
better appreciated when you’ve known . . .
and overcome . . . failure.
We evaluate by comparison. Today is a
brighter day than yesterday. But we can
know that only if we have seen a cloudy
yesterday. If every day were equally bright,
the splendor would be lost in sameness.
If I could offer one observation to a young
couple contemplating marriage today, it
would be that only a permanent commitment
keeps you trying rainy day after rainy day If
the vows last only to the first disappointment,
how can you experience the revitalized hope
of that disappointment overcome?
After twenty years of marriage there are
still some things I don’t understand. The
expression “two in one flesh” is sometimes
used to describe the union of husband and
wife. Yet even in our most intimate moments
we are still two individuals.
I see “two in one flesh” in our children, for
they are both of us. And here, too, there are
joys and sorrows. It is ecstasy to see our
strengths recreated-. .. and agony to find the
repetition of our faults.
Today, as we look at our marriage, it seems
that the union of our spirits is more
important. This is a more enriching, more
btauliiul, more lasting relationship . . . for
two minds work together to conquer failure
and turn it into a mutual success. Two hearts
bear the pain, and achieve a united pleasure.
Two spirits know the sorrow of their
separateness, but, when merged, come
closest to perfect love.
When two hearts, working together, share a
burden, it divides the load. Yet when two
spirits, united into one, share a joy, it
multiplies the pleasure. Spiritual arithmetic .
. . The uncanny way of growth in marriage.
Were it not for that union of spirit, the
heartaches would multiply ... the joys would
wither.
Our wedding took place twenty years ago.
But our marriage began subtly, impercepti-
bly .. . so gradually that I do not know just
when . . .
Our marriage began with that growth,
working together, for the enrichment of us ...
not till death do us part... but for all eternity.
I’m glad it did.
r
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texas gulf coast
CATHOL I C
Published weekly, except the lest week of December and the last week of July.
Official Newspaper of the Diocese of Corpus Christi
President.........................Most Rev. Thomas J, Drury, D. D.
Editor and Business Manager............... Father Raymond Pena
Circulation Manager........................... ... Mrs. Irene Doyle
Advertising Manager......... ..................... Mrs. Alice Price
Address all communications to:
TEXAS GULF COAST CATHOLIC
P. O. Box 2584, Corpus Christi, Texas 78403
Telephone - 882-6191 Ext. 34
Price: $4.00 per year
Entered as Second Class Matter United States Post Office
Corpus Christi. Texas
A
»'s
7
Church Pews
Repair & Refinishing
For Information Contact
EDBKEM & ASSOCIATES
P.O. Box 4481
Waco, Tx. 76705
Ph. 817-662-2295
J
MANUEL SEGURA
PLUMBING
SERVICE
RESIDENTIAL
COMMERCIAL
For
rgency Service
Call
852-5284
WE HONOR
MASTER CHARGE
June 17— Monday
— Covered Dish Supper
Alameda.
homilies, group discussions of the Sunday
Gospel (perhaps at a Bible Vigil), and
afternoons of recollection where the priest is
asked to center his meditations on the life of
Christ.
The focal point of these activities should
provide patterns and discussions for the
council as you begin to see how Christ
interacted with His apostles, and how He
formed them into a community — that is, into
a Church!
UNDERSTAND CHURCH
Growing from a Christ made more vivid
and present, not only in history 2,000 years
ago, but today, also — think, read and discuss
the documents of Vatican Council II and what
it means to be Church.
What does it mean when I say “1 am the
Church,” and “You are the Church?”
It certainly means that there are definite
roles and ministries and gifts of the Holy
Spirit, but it also means a community
responsibility, a sharing of joys and sorrows.
It means that we can’t leave it all to the
priests, because we have responsibilities and
gifts to exercise in our unique response to
Christ.
It means that we are all equal members of
the Church, and that the Church is an open
circle rather than a pyramid.
ACT IN SMALL GROUPS
Anyone who takes the life-style of Christ
seriously must have a respect for small grops
and for action in forming a person in Christ.
I recommend small group meetings in
homes, in addition to larger meetings in the
church building or hall.
These meetings should be inductive rather
than deductive. They should be based on the
classic Church tradition of “See, Judge, and
Act.”
I have prepared a book, Programs for
Parish Councils, that gives five meetings in
this classic question - style for each of the
seven typical committees of a parish council.
You can just as easily prepare your own, but
if you wish a copy of Programs For Parish
Councils send $1.50 for each copy (or 12 copies
for $15.00) to Voice Publications, P.O. Box
3455, Chicago, III. 60654.
“What should we do next?’ Prayerfully
consider, “What would Christ have us do
next?”
Butter Krust
» ............ i
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BMC AO
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Pena, Raymond. Texas Gulf Coast Catholic (Corpus Christi, Tex.), Vol. 10, No. 6, Ed. 1 Friday, June 7, 1974, newspaper, June 7, 1974; Corpus Christi, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth835486/m1/2/: accessed July 6, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; .