South Texas Catholic (Corpus Christi, Tex.), Vol. 24, No. 39, Ed. 1 Friday, November 17, 1989 Page: 4 of 16
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November 17, 1989—4
GIVING THANKS
S|C
Holiday reflections: feeling grateful
By Antoinette Bosco
Catholic News Service
I had lunch not long ago with an old
friend 1 hadn’t seen in ages. Anne, who
used to be so depressed, was like a changed
person. “These days, “ she told me, “1
walk around feeling thankful to be alive,”
I remember our last gct-logcthcr clearly
because it was Thanksgiving Day al my
house 10 years ago. We were sharing
pumpkin pic when a guest asked Anne:
“How can you be so depressed when
you have so much to be grateful for?”
“You’re just making me feel guilty,”
was Anne’s response at the time.
The question was meant to help cheer
her up but that kind of advice is useless.
It is a subtle form of criticism that im-
plies an unfair judgment.
Telling a depressed person to feel
grateful is like telling someone to focus
on the sun when it’s pouring rain out-
side. More often than not, depressed
people know that they ought to feel
gratitude but they can’t. To criticize or
scold them is like rubbing salt in a wound.’
It occurs to me that there’s something
wrong with our understanding of what
gratitude is. We speak of it as an obliga-
tion. But gratitude is not a duly; it is a
feeling and can’t be forced.
Sure, we teach children to express
appreciation. But no one can dictate a
true feeling of thankfulness but God.
When I saw my friend Anne so mi-
raculously changed, it struck me that to
be able to feel grateful is a blessing.
Gratitude is a state of being that comes
when we sense the love of God in us. To
be blessed with the ability to say “thank
you” lo God means that you are already
someone special.
The connection between gratitude and
grace, which come from the same lin-
guistic root, finally has become clear to
me. Grace is God’s unmerited love and
favor. In other words, grace is a pure
gift. Since grace enables us to feel thank-
ful, the ability to feel gratitude is also a
gift from God.
Most of the time we look at gratitude
from Lhe opposite direction.
We put the cart before the horse when
we suggest that someone’s depression
will disappear if they would recognize
their reasons for being ungrateful. It is
only after depression leaves that people
can feel grateful. After experiencing
happiness, gratitude flows naturally:
Recognizing the truth that gratitude
is a free gift from God should make us
feel humble rather than proud. We can’t
take credit for the gift and we can’t
criticize someone who is less fonunatc.
We can pray that everyone receives the
grace that will allow them to feel the
same happiness.
When we are empty inside, gratitude
is not a natural response. But when we
can connect with the beauty around us,
secure in the knowledge that we love
and are loved, we sense God’s presence
and know how to be grateful.
That’s why the syndrome of holiday
depression is a great tragedy. The Thanks-
giving and Christmas seasons come and
go, and too many people remain unable
to feel grateful.
Our task then is to spread our love and
pray that everyone receives the grace
which enables us to thank God for his
magnificent gift of life.
Incarnate Word Montessori students Jessica Smith and Marcus Cantu,
dressed as Pilgrims, hold their “turkey” (adapted from a pineapple) dur-
ing a Thanksgiving reenactment. Other students were dressed as Native
Americans.
Recalling what we have to be thankful for
By Dr, James and Mary Kenny
Catholic News Service
At Thanksgiving, like so many other Americans, I
take a few moments lo review the highlights of my past
year and to express my gratitude in some way for my
“gifts.” This year, my thank-yous seemed more than
merely personal and I would like to share them with our
readers.
Thank you, God, for Alcoholics Anonymous, Each
semester, in m y alcohol education class we have an open
AA meeting and eight to 10 recovering alcoholics share
their stories with me and my students. Having once hit
bottom, there are no masks, no false pretenses.
Each of the meetings is like a ‘"’happening’ ’ for me.
In no other circumstance have I witnessed such candor,
such maturity, such humility, such grace. Thepeopleare
open and honest and 1 love each one of them dearly. I
feel privileged to share their stories and their wisdom.
Thank you, God, for foster parents. I was honored last
month to be the keynote speaker at the annual confer-
ence of the Indiana Foster Care Association. If, at one
rime, foster parents look mostly small babies, no more.
Now they often take troubled teens.
Many of the teens are from neglectful and abusive
homes. Rather than act grateful, the teens often continue
to misbehave, as if to strike back at a society thathas not
dealt kindly with them.
Foster parents bear the brunt. They take criticism
Holly Schmidt, a
fifth grader at St.
Patrick School in
Corpus Christi,
draws a traditional
Native American
teepee as part of a
Thanksgiving pro-
ject at the school.
from the youths, from the natural parents and some-
times even from the welfare departments. This is “tough
love” at its finest. Not only do these foster parents
aLlempt to maintain firm limits with unruly teens, but
they keep on loving when there arc few others to support
Lhem. Hug a foster parent today.
Thank you, God, for LaLeche League and all the love
and warmth that the league generates. It promotes good
mothering through breast- feeding. Twenty-five years
ago the members were the true women’s libbers, a
minority voice in a male-dominated medical establish-
ment, teaching women how to breast-feed and support-
ing those who wished to do sc.
Today, breast-feeding has the unequivocal endorse-
ment of the American Medical Association and the
American Academy of Pediatrics as the best way to a
feed and nourish a baby.
But the league does so much more. As the Beatles
sang it, the three L’s stand for ‘ ‘love, love, love. ’ ’ Mary
and I were speakers at the July La Leche League
conference in Anaheim, Cal if. What a marvelous oppor-
tunity to be around somany wonderful women who love
so unconditionally, so physically and so much. I felt
loved too.
I thank you, God, for Public Interest Resource Groups
(the PIRGs) and all other like organizations, whose
staffs work for so little pay to save our environment. One
of our sons worked for PIRG in Massachusetts and we
learned firsthand about the endless picketing, lobbying
and fund-raising necessary to change laws and attitudes
and fight pollution.
Good planets are hard to find. I thank you for the
dedicated people who are working so hard against greed
and thoughtlessness to preserve the one we have.
Finally, I thank you for my health, my family jny life
itself planted here in the 20th century, and for keeping
life interesting.
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Freeman, Robert E. South Texas Catholic (Corpus Christi, Tex.), Vol. 24, No. 39, Ed. 1 Friday, November 17, 1989, newspaper, November 17, 1989; Corpus Christi, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth840724/m1/4/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; .