The Dallas Morning News (Dallas, Tex.), Ed. 1 Sunday, July 5, 1964 Page: 4 of 16
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The Kennedy Wit
JFK’s warmth and humor are wonderfully captured in a
new book — an exclusive preview
BY BILL ADLER
robody needs a sense of humor more than a President of the United States, for no job
1^1 in the world is so burdened with major pressures. John F. Kennedy was excep-
JLi tionally well endowed to resist the pressure, as is delightfully demonstrated in “The
Kennedy Wit,” edited by Bill Adler, to be published Friday by Citadel Press ($3).
Here, in an exclusive pre-publication preview, This Week brings you a selected sampling
of the wit and humor of President Kennedy. As editor Adler says, “Nothing describes a man
better than his sense of humor, and I think everyone will find this true of President Kennedy.”
We think so too.
THE EDITORS
+ Someone was kind enough, though I don’t
know whether he meant it kindly, to say the other
night that in my campaign in California I sounded
like a Truman with a Harvard accent.
New York City
September 14, 1960
+ Raising funds during a political campaign is an
essential part of our political system. During the
Presidential campaign, Mr. Kennedy spoke before
many $100-a-plate dinners and, on occasion, re-
ferred to the cost of these affairs with these remarks:
I am deeply touched — not as deeply touched
as you have been by coming to this dinner, but
nevertheless, it is a sentimental occasion.
Fund-Raising Dinner
Salt Lake City, Utah, September 23, I960
+ I wonder when he (Mr. Nixon) put his finger
under Mr. Khrushchev’s nose whether he was say-
ing, “I know you are ahead of us in rockets, Mr.
Khrushchev, but we are ahead of you in color tele-
vision.” I would just as soon look at black and
white television and be ahead of them in rockets.
Pittsburgh
October 10, 1960
+ Much was said during the campaign about the
relative experience of Mr. Kennedy and Mr. Nixon.
On this point, Mr. Kennedy made these remarks in
a speech in Jacksonville, Florida, in October, 1960:
question: Senator, you were promised military
intelligence briefing from the President. Have you
received that?
mr. Kennedy: Yes, I talked on Thursday
morning to General Wheeler from the Defense
Department.
question : What was his first name?
mr. Kennedy: He didn’t brief me on that.
Press Conference
Anchorage, Alaska, September 4, I960
+ I know a banker who served thirty years as
president of a bank. He had more experience,
until his bank went broke, than any other banker
in Massachusetts. But if I ever go in the banking
business, I do not plan to hire him, and he knows
the operation from top to bottom.
+ I was informed when I started out this morn-
ing that we were going to travel in Delaware
County, which voted 8 to 1 for Alf Landon. We
are going to wipe that record out. No county in
the United States should have that reputation.
Norrisloivn, Pa.
October 29, I960
+ Prior to the nomination of Lyndon Johnson as
the Democratic Vice Presidential candidate, there
were rumors that Governor Pat Brown of California
was interested in the nomination. This presented
problems for Mr. Kennedy, because Governor Brown
is also a Catholic. And, needless to say, two Catho-
lics running on the same ticket certainly was not a
balanced ticket. In a speech in California, prior to
the convention, Mr. Kennedy had this to say about
Governor Brown:
I know there has been talk out here about a
Kennedy-Brown ticket, and I sincerely wish that
we could arrange that. Unfortunately, I come from
Massachusetts and the Governor comes from Cali-
fornia, and I don’t believe the country is ready
for a ticket that stretches from the Atlantic to
the Pacific.
+ I appreciate your welcome. As the cow said
to the Maine farmer, “‘Thank you for a warm
hand on a cold morning.” Los Angeles
November 2, 1960
+ Ladies and gentlemen, I was warned to be out
here in plenty of time to permit those who are
going to the Green Bay Packers game to leave.
I don’t mind running against Mr. Nixon, but I
have the good sense not to run against the Green
Bay Packers. Green Bay, Wis.
October, I960
+ Ladies and gentlemen, the devices which are
used in the City of New York to separate you from
your life savings are numerous. When the dinners
run out, the luncheons begin, and when the lunch-
eons run out, the breakfasts begin. We may all
meet next week to get the campaign out of the
red with a midnight brunch at eighty-five dollars
a person and I will be there. — -JN&uiXstrk
November 5, i
+ When I came to Washington to the U.S.
Senate, I brought a number of young ladies from
Massachusetts to be secretaries. They all got
married. Then I got a whole new set of girls and
they got married. So if any of you girls feel the
prospects are limited in this community you come
and work for me.
-V Comment by President Kennedy at Inaugural
Ball:
I think this is an ideal way to spend an eve-
ning and I hope that we can all meet here again
tomorrow7 at one a.m. to do it all over again.
Washington
January 20, 1961
+ On a trip to the West Coast, President Kennedy
was asked by a little boy, “Mr. President, how did
you become a war hero?”
It wras absolutely involuntary. They sank
my boat. •
+- During his meeting with Premier Khrushchev
in Vienna, President Kennedy noticed a medal on
Khrushchev’s chest and asked what it was. The Pre-
mier replied, that the medal was the Lenin Peace
Prize.
“I hope you keep it,” Mr. Kennedy com-
mented.
+ I also regret very much that another honored
guest of this dinner on a previous occasion is not
with us tonight. I follow his career with more
interest than he might imagine. In his quest for
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O'Connell, John J. & Nichols, William I. The Dallas Morning News (Dallas, Tex.), Ed. 1 Sunday, July 5, 1964, newspaper, July 5, 1964; New York, New York. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth847862/m1/4/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Sam Rayburn House State Historical Site.