Crosby County News (Ralls, Tex.), Vol. 129, No. 42, Ed. 1 Friday, October 28, 2016 Page: 5 of 16
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Friday, October 28, 2016
Crosby County News
Page 5
Cr mbyf
Fuirrit/ Fartn
1. Cars will soon have
the Internet on the dash-
board. I worry that this will
distract me from my texting.
- Andy Borowitz
2. Pd rather check my
Facebook than face my
checkbook. - Craig Coelho
3. “User” is the word
used by the computer pro-
fessional when they mean
“idiot.”- Dave Barry
4. What did people do
when they went to the bath-
room before smart phones?-
Aaron Cobra Mervis
5. Each time I shut my
computer down, I throw my
head back in maniacal laugh-
ter and scream “Fool! I was
only using you!”- Bridger
Winegar
6. A computer once beat
me at chess, but it was no
match for me at kick box-
ing.- Emo Philips
7. The problem with
quotes on the internet is you
can never be certain they’re
authentic.- Abraham Lincoln
8. AT&T to wed T-Mo-
bile. Following the ceremo-
ny there will be no recep-
tion.- Richard Lerner
9. To err is human, but
to really foul things up you
need a computer.- Paul Eh-
rlich
10. Toyota has an-
nounced it will start integrat-
ing Microsoft technology
into their vehicles. It’s per-
fect for the person who wants
a car that crashes every ten
minutes.- Conan O’Brien
11. Give a man a fish,
and he will eat for a day.
Give a man Twitter, and he
CROSSWORD
will forget to eat and starve
to death.- Andy Borowitz
12. The population of
earth has reached 7 billion
people, every single one of
whom send you irritating
emails to join something
called “Linkedln.”- Dave
Barry
13. Compulsive texting
gives me the willies. It’s just
another form of butt scratch-
ing.- Garrison Keillor
14. In a perfect world,
answering machines would
come with a “Get to the
point” button.- Jason Love
15. Rapper Zapper App:
remote control that instantly
short circuits anything oper-
ating way too loud: hip hop
from giant speakers in cars,
cell phones of clueless idiots
with booming voices, and
all Harley Davidson motor-
25
26
27
28
35
36
40
44
45
48
53
57
58
59
60
65
69
72
THEME: PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS
ACROSS
1. Wisdom tooth, e.g.
6. Slovenly abode
9._row
13. “Leave me !r
14. Lamb’s momma
15. Chew out
16. Stirs up
17. * Reagan, to friends
18. Extend subscription
19. *Electoral entity
21. *Election day
23. Right-angle building
extension
24. Cat-headed Egyptian
goddess
25. British broadcaster
28. Plural of locus
30. Farmer’s turf, pi.
35. Pale or bitter bever-
ages
37. 1960s boots
39. “No way,
40. Under the weather
41. #6 Across dwellers
43. Actress Moore
44. Arctic people
46. On the surface
47. Julia Roberts as_
Brockovich
48. Clear and bright
50. Snorkeling site
52. *_Whitman, co-
chair of John McCain’s 2008
campaign
53. How snug bug in a
rug feels?
55. Singular of #35
Across
57. Diver’s breathing de-
vice
61. *Election within a
party
65. Conical tent
66. Miner’s bounty
68. Hindu queen
69. Do like Vesuvius
70. Additionally
71. Nashville player
72. A rolling stone gath-
ers none of this
73. Japanese currency
74. Downhill riders
DOWN
1. Designer Jacobs
2. Hodgepodge
3. Take it easy
4. Anoint
5. Bring to consignment
store
6. Dried up
7. *Presidential term
limit
8. Yiddish busybody
9. She is
10. Warm-hearted
11. What’s the big one?
12. Like moist grass in
the morning
15. King Minos, e.g.
20. Heidi’s shoes
22. Consume
24. Prejudice
25. Pesto ingredient
26. Russian cuisine sta-
ple
27. Small intestine/large
intestine connection
29. RC or Pepsi
31. Went by horse
32. 100,000 BTU
33. Mr. Simpson, to
Marge
34. important kind of
state
36. “_to My Lou”
38. Bassoon cousin
42. Asparagus unit
45. *List of candidates
49. Unidentified John
51. What coquette does
54. Polish currency
56. *This account of
John Podesta was hacked
57. Curriculum based on
science, technology, engi-
neering, math
58. Claudius’ successor
59. “Moonlight Sonata,”
e-g.
60. *Dems opponents
61. Colonial times’ la-
borer
62. Casino chip
63. Part of ROM
64. Yearnings
67. Wade’s opponent
RELIABLE
HOME MEDICAL
316 W. Main
Crosbyton, TX 79322
(806) 675-1335
Toll Free: 1-866-895-5832
reliablehomemedical@gmail.com
Crossword Puzzle and Suduko answers can be found in this edition
cycles. - Greg Tamblyn
16. What I need is a
search engine that, no mat-
ter what I type in, comes
back with GO BACK TO
WORK.- Dave Barry
17. I have a lifetime’s
worth of technical expertise.
I wasn’t born - my mother
simply chose ‘eject child’
from the special menu.- Un-
known
18. We had the Greatest
Generation, the Boomers,
Generation X, Generation Y,
and now: Generation Text.-
Greg Tamblyn
19. I’ve invented Two-
facebook, the antisocial net-
work. You start being friends
w/entire world & defriend
people one by one.- Andy
Borowitz
20. My life is now a con-
stant assessment of whether
what’s happening in real life
is more entertaining than
what’s happening on my
phone.- Damien Fahey
21. My brother doesn’t
have to give parental advice
to his kid any more. His kid’s
phone has an app for that.
22. Our society will
never go entirely paperless.
There’s always the bath-
room.
23. Technology has re-
ally changed parenting.
There’s a whole generation
of kids whose only child-
hood memory of their dad
will be his bald spot bent
over a Blackberry.- Kate De-
imling
24. My computer could
be more encouraging. You
know, instead of “invalid
password”, why not some-
thing like, “Ooooh, you’re
so close!”?- Lisa Porter
Remember to
Shop at Home!!
Keep Tax
Dollars in the
county!
Criminal Records
NONE
Grand Jury Indictments
NONE
Warranty Deeds
James M. Gosdin to Mary G. Wells - 1: N/2 of Section 801, Ab-
stract 198, Certificate No. 319, A&B &M Survey, Crosby County,
Texas. 2: E/80 acres of the N/2 of Section 807, Abstract 320, Cer-
tificate No. 254, T.T.R.R. Co., Crosby County, Texas.
Teen Challenge of the Permian Basin, Inc. to Trinity Worship
Center - S/2 of Lot 11 and all of Lot 12, Block 5, Ellison Addition
to the City of Crosbyton, Crosby County, Texas.
Marriage License
NONE
Civil
NONE
Crosby County SherifFs Jail List
Inmate Charges Report - 10/18/2016 to 10/25/2016
Felicia Nicole Childers - Aggravated Assault causing Serious
Bodily Injury, Disorderly Conduct, Public Intoxication
Joey Garza, Jr. - Bond Surrender
Francisco Lozoya, Jr. - Assault Domestic w/prior
Kcie Lee Rodriguez - Theft $2500<30K
Alcoholic Anonymous
& Al-Anon Meetings
Alcoholic Anonymous meetings in
Lorenzo, Monday nights at 8:00 p.m. @
Lorenzo Community Center
Al-Anon meetings will be at the First
United Methodist Church in Lorenzo on
Monday nights at 7:00 p.m.
F or AA Information
Call 777-6457 or 634-5608
For Al-Anon Information
Call 747-1754 or 790-5960
SUBSCRIBE to
Croshu CountJVews
In Crosby County — $40.00 per year
Out of County — $45.00 per year
Out of State — $50.00 per year
All Subscription payments are DUE in Advance
Crosby CountyNews
P.O. Box 1115
Ralls, Texas 79357
Name_
Mailing Address.
City.
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Crosby County News (Ralls, Tex.), Vol. 129, No. 42, Ed. 1 Friday, October 28, 2016, newspaper, October 28, 2016; Ralls, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth868539/m1/5/: accessed July 10, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Crosby County Public Library.