White Deer Review (White Deer, Tex.), Vol. 16, No. 15, Ed. 1 Friday, June 23, 1939 Page: 3 of 6
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: Carson County Area Newspapers and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the Carson County Library.
- Highlighting
- Highlighting On/Off
- Color:
- Adjust Image
- Rotate Left
- Rotate Right
- Brightness, Contrast, etc. (Experimental)
- Cropping Tool
- Download Sizes
- Preview all sizes/dimensions or...
- Download Thumbnail
- Download Small
- Download Medium
- Download Large
- High Resolution Files
- IIIF Image JSON
- IIIF Image URL
- Accessibility
- View Extracted Text
Extracted Text
The following text was automatically extracted from the image on this page using optical character recognition software:
FRIDAY, JUNE 23, 1939
WHITE DEER REVIEW, White Deer, Carson County, Texas
AMPLE PROOF
A small boy asked his father
how War began.
“Well,” said his father, “sup-
pose that England quarreled with
France.”
“But,” interrupted the moth-
er, “England musn’t quarrel
with France.”
“I know,” he answered, “but
I am taking a mypothetical in-
stance. ’ ’
‘You are misleading the child,’
said the mother.
“No, I am not,” he answered.
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I am not.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Alright, Dad,” said the small
hoy, “I think I know how wars
Albert Hayes of Dumas and
Bert Hays of Capulin, N. M. visi- <4I can’t stand the sound of
ted their„aunt and sister, Mrs. an auto horn.”
Clyde Lawson, last weekend. Mrs. “Why not?”
Mack Hay of Dallas, a sister-in- “A fellow eloped with my wife
law, and Mrs. Riubydell 'Smith, a j in an auto and every time I think
cousin, will remain for a longer ( he’s bringing her back,
visit.
HIGH RATING
Caller: “And did your nephew
make a fortune in America as he
expected?”
Fond Aunt: “Oh, ja, I guess
he must be rich, because I heard
the State of New York was of-
fering $10,000 for information a-
bout him.”
Betty (at commencement)—
(What course did you take this
year ?
Jane—The classical, of course.
Betty—Why ?
Jane Because I wanted to read
Vergil; it starts right.
Betty—Why?
Jane—“Arma virumque cano.”
Betty—What does that mean?
Jane—Arms, a man and a
canoe.
HIPPO,LATUS
Inspecting a pair of trousers in
his shop in Athens, a tailor quer-
ied, “Euripides?”
Answered the customer, “Yeh,
Eumenides. ’ ’
A minister was hurrying with his
wife, in his auto, to get a distant
church where he had an engage-
ment to preach, when the main
gudgeon or something made a
doleful sound and the auto stop-
ped dead. The minister spread an
old blanket undr the car and man-
aged to worm his way to the point
where the trouble seem to be loc-
ated. ,
At first there was complete sil-
ence-1-but then the wife begin to
hear what sounded to her like the
words “Muscle Shoals Muscle
length her feminine curosity got
the better of her 'and she inquir-
ed, in an inoffensive a manner as
Shoals.”
She listened intently, and a t
possible, “What are you saying
“Muscle Shoals’ for, Cyrus?”
The husband replied—also in as
calm a tone as any-one might be
expected1 to use under such cir-
cumstances: “I’m saying 1 Muscle
Shoals’ because that’s the biggest
dam I know of.”
Sleep while your ad works.
Two hoboes were lying beside
a quiet stream.
“Right now I wouldn’t change
places with a guy who had a mil-
lion bucks,” mused the first.
“How about five million?”
asked his companion.
“Not even for that.”
“Well, how about ten million
bucks ? ’ ’
The first tramp sat up.
“That’s different,” he admit-
ted. “Now you’re talking real
dough.”
Barber—Hair cut ?
Farmer—Yep.
Barber—How do you want it
cut?
Farmer—I’m not particular.
Barber—That’s a bargain. Cut
it on shares for your work.
Prof. Fritter—Oxygen is essen-
tial to all animal existance. There
could be no life without it. Yet,
strange to say, it was discovered
only a little more than a century
ago.
Student Grubb—What did they
do before it was discovered, prof?
Mrs. Henpeek (sarcastically):
“I suppose you’ve been to see a
sick friend, holding his head all
evening.”
Husband (absently) : “If I’d
been holding his hand, I’d have
made more money. ’ ’
Mrs. Smith: “Doctor, I’m
seared to death. This is my first
operation. ’ ’
Dr. Jones: “Sure, I know just
how you feel. You’re my first
patient. ’ ’
Mother: “ That brozen Miss
Vamp boasts that she has been
kissed by every married man in
town except one.”
Father (absently): “I wonder
who he can be.”
A Kansas woman had been on a
trip to France. On her return she
was asked what she thought of
the country.
’’Well, she replied, “Paris is
a gay place; but what pleased me
most was them French pheasants
singing the mayannaise.”
Mrs. Chuzz—I’m sorry, dearv
but I’ll just have to have some-
new clothes.
Chuzz—Not this month, m y
cherub; the money just isn't, a-
vailable.
Mrs. Chuzz (suspicious) —S,ay„.
why do you always call me “my
cherub”? That’s all I’ve heart!
lately.
Chuzz (bravely )—Well, It’s
like this: You never seem to hay?&
any clothes, you’re always up i».
the air, and you keep harping^
“I’ve just read an article abonr
electricity, Henry,” said his wife,
“and it says that before long We
shall get everything we want by
just touching a button.
“It won’t do us any good.’*"
her husband sadly replied.
“Why not, Henry?”
“Because nothing would ever
make you touch a button. Look
at my shirt.”
The sociable man is that fel-
low who comes over to sit on yourN
porch and doesn’t think of asking
if you might have other plans.
GOING TOO FAR
A hillbilly edged up to the tick-
et window of a little jerkwater
railroad station, and said: ‘ ‘ Mis-
ter, I aim to go to New York to
fiddle in Zeb Stewart’s Kentucky
band. Can you fix me up for to
get there?”
“Certainly,” replied the agent.
“The Special goes through here
in about five minutes, and I can
flag her for you . but what about
your trunks?”
“Trunks?” asked the puzzled
mountaineer. “What’s a trunk
for?”
“To put your clothes in,” re-
plied the agent.
‘1 What! ’ ’ cried the scandaliz-
ed hillbilly. “An’ me go nekk-
ed!”
Miss
NOT ON HER LIFE
Prof.: “Decline £love,’
Jones.”
Miss Jones: “Decline love, pro-
fessor? Not me.”
Youth (to fair companion)—
Have you ever tried listening to
a movie with your eyes shut?
Voice ( from row behind)—
Have you ever tried listening to
one with your mouth shut ?
politics with your wife?
Xceron—Politics doesn’t re-
mind her of anything she wants.
Zwerp—What is your idea o f
love?.
Ruth—To me love is peace,
quiet, tranquility—
Zwerp—Aw, that’s not love;
that’s sleep.
Captain—Your report like this
one of the accident should be
written so that even the most
igndrant can understand them.
Patrolman—Yes, sir. What part
is it that you don’t understand?
Herbie—Gee, Mr. Berzam, are J
you a baseball player?
Berzam—No, Harbie I’m not.-
In fact I know very little about]
the game. j
Herbie—That’s funny. I heard]
Sis tell Ma that you were such
a good catch.
Izaat—How would you define
a picnic?
Izzard—A picnic is a day set
apart to get better acquainted
with ants, worms, mosquitos,
chiggers and poison ivy.
Mother—Darling, you were aw-
fully late last night. I’m afraid
I’m oldfashioned, but I should
like to know where you go .
Sally—Certainly, mummy. I
dined with—Oh, well, you don’t
know him, and we wept to several
places, I don’t suppose you’ve
been to, and finished at a pueef
little club—I forgot its name.
But it’s all right, isn’t it mum-
my?
Mother—Of course, darling. It’s
only that I just like to know.
Johnnie—Say, Dadv, Avhat kind
of things are ancestors?
Daddy—Well, son, that means
your relations that have gone be-
fore you. I’m one and your
grandfather is another.
Johnnie—Then why do people
go around bragging about them
so much?
Mrs. Zoole—Is your daughter
prepared for her forthcoming trip
around the world ?
Mrs. Tallet—Perfectly. She can
say “no” in 15 languages.
Chubbwitt—How do you like
cozy little place, dear? Shall we
buy it?
Mrs. Chubbwitt—Oh, it’s per-!
fectly lovely! The view from this
balconv leaves me speechless.
Chubbwitt—Then we will surly I
buy it. 1
FRIDAY SATURDAY AND MONDAY PRICES
*1
EGGS
Fresh Country
Every One
Guaranteed
125c
COFFEE
FOLGERS
Perk or Drip
lb can
25c
SUGAR
Pure Cane
Cloth Bag
to ib ............47c
MATCHES
Good Strikers
Carton Of Six
Boxes __________15C
MILK
BORDENS
Rose
Limit
Tall can
5c
WE BUY CREAM POULTRY and EGGS HIGHEST Mkt PRICES PAID
SHORTENING
ARMOURS
VEGETOLE
Fresh Stock
CLb.
^CARTON
St
omatoes mST* 21c
Salad Dressing SfState 19c
Is
* l Arkansas Pack 1C«
pinacn No Grit No. 2 can 2 for .... IOC
Potted Meat L*v‘ “ 9c
If
I Alii) PILLSBURYS 7Q„
LUUA BEST XXXX 24 lb bag < Jl
Raisins 15c
Ik
C. Baking Powders 19c
Prunes SL ..........14c
|c
i mi
Brimfull Whole Grain
0 1 11 Vaccum Pack 12 oz. can
9c
Sugai
Powdered or Brown 1r*
*2 lb Cello Bag........................... 150
SOAP
OXYDOL
PEACHES
B-BERRIES
JELL-0
P and G
Giant Size
The Complete
House Hold
Big M. Brand
TEXAS PACK
All Flavors
3 for ______ 1 CJ C
Soap /
Large box 1 Y2C
Gal. can C
Gal. Can
I
3 for......... 1 SC
FRUITS & VEGETABLES
FRESH CURED MEATS |
LETTUCE
LARGE ^ j
CRISP ^?C
HEAD
LEMONS
California
Sunkist j
360 size do ^
BUTTER •
Valley Farm
Fri. & Sat Only
BACOI
Armoure f*
Banquet J
i lb..............
!5ac
C* HI Tr\P IDAHO RUSSETS
orUDb 23c
OLEO Pure^Vegetable lb 1
i
2k
ONIONS r*“■ 4c
CHEESE
Krafts Elk Horn
lb_________ _____________-
00
NEW O 1
POTATOES !ra' No:1 IM 3^
BEEF
Short Ribs £omCholc!B“f J
L3ic
GREEN *1
BEANS rh s"ap 6k
HAMBURGER j££L ]
lb .............................
15k
CANTALOUPE
Presh Cal. Jumbo O 1 p
Size 2 for ._______________X
Salt Meat
■ Squares
0 iib (------------------------—
9lc
318 N.
CUYLER
PAMPA
PIGGLY WIGGLY
318 N.
CUYLER
PAMPA
Upcoming Pages
Here’s what’s next.
Search Inside
This issue can be searched. Note: Results may vary based on the legibility of text within the document.
Tools / Downloads
Get a copy of this page or view the extracted text.
Citing and Sharing
Basic information for referencing this web page. We also provide extended guidance on usage rights, references, copying or embedding.
Reference the current page of this Newspaper.
Simmons, W. W. White Deer Review (White Deer, Tex.), Vol. 16, No. 15, Ed. 1 Friday, June 23, 1939, newspaper, June 23, 1939; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth871907/m1/3/?q=%22%22~1: accessed July 8, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Carson County Library.