White Deer Review (White Deer, Tex.), Vol. 16, No. 26, Ed. 1 Friday, September 8, 1939 Page: 3 of 4
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FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 1939
Wmmmmmm
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WHITE DEER REVIEW, White Deer, Carson County, Texas
DONLEY BOYS PURCHASE
48 REOISTERED GILTS
CLARENDON, Sept. 6—Coun-
ty agent, H. M. Breedlove, has an-
nounced that 48 Donley County 4-
H Club boys had bought as many
registered gilts. Of this number,
40 were Hampshire hogs, either
directly or indirectly from the E.
^S. Ballew herd. Other hogs being
Spotted Poland China and Durocs
WHEAT SHORTS
The Federal Surplus Commodi-
ties Corporation has purchased
more than a quarter million bar-
rels of white and gi’aham flour in
Texas since 1937, and distributed
this to low-income groups or sold
it for export under the wheat ex-
port subsidy plan.
Since 1932 Britain has encour-
All of these gilts will farrow aged wheat production at home by
arouhd the first of September, j guaranteeing a price of
The litters will be fed out by the °n “ .......
boys, and exhibited at the Donley
County Fat Stock Show and Ama-
rillo Fat Stock Show and then
sold at auction after the Amarillo
Fat Stock Show. Gilts and male
pigs will be saved out of these lit-
ters for breeding purposes and
also distributed to other 4-H club
members.
* SANTA FE CARLOADINGS
The Santa Fe System carload-
ings for the week ending Septem-
ber 2, 1939 were 20,116 as corn-
el pared with the 19,522 for the same
week in 1938. Received from con-
nections were 5,712 as compared
with 5,174 for the same week in
1938. The total cars moved were
25,828 as compared with 24,969
for the same week in 1938. The
Santa Fe handled a total of 24,-
384 cars during the proceeding
week of this year.
If the 20 million families re-
ceiving less than $2,000 a year
spent as much for cotton goods
as those receiving between $2,000
and £31)00, the cotton farmer
would have a home outlet for an,
additional 2 million bales annual-
ly. _
DUE FOR A SHOCK
He was at the fountain pen
counter making a purchase. “You
see,” he said, “I’m buying this
for my wife.”
“A surprise, eh?”
* “I’ll say so. She’s expecting
a sedan.”
about
$1.30 a bushel to British Isle pro-
ducers. Since that time the aver-
age yearly pi’oduction has increa-
sed from about 47 million bushels
to around 62 million.
During World War days the
farmer got more than 80 cents
out of every dollar’s worth of
flour wholesaled. Under the in-
fluence of large surpluses in the
early 30’s his price went down so
that by 1932 he was getting 44
cents out of the flour wholesale
dollar.
CHANGE OF ADDRESS
Before you change your mailing
address kindly advise The White
Deer Review circulation depart-
ment in order that all issues may
reach you promptly. At the time
of making a forwarding request
at the post office, remember to
drop your newsweekly a post card
advising when to make the correc-
tion.
English Exam. Question—Give
three collective nouns.
Student Flatt’s Answer—Fly-
paper, wastebasket, and vacuum
cleaner.
Professor: “Oxygen is essential
to all animal existence. There
could be no life without it. Yet,
strange to say, it was discovered
only a little more than a eeatruy
ago. ’ ’
Student: “What did they do
before it was discovered, Profes-
sor?”
BEST WAY TO SELL
Although advertising as a whole
has its vulnerable spots—its lu-
natic fringe which discredits hon-
est advertising—it has proved to
Mother—Jackie, your father
tells me you called him an old
idiot. Did you?
Jackie—Yes, mummy.
Mother—Well, dear, I’m glad
you’re truthful, anyway.
Hazel—If you really loved me
all the time, why didn’t you let
me known somehow?
Horace—I-I couldn’t find a
telegram with the right words in
it.
Math Prof—Give me an exam-
ple of an imaginary spheroid.
Soph—A rooster’s egg.
Mi’s. Crabshaw—You’re becom-
ing absolutely unbearable. It will
soon be impossible to live with
you.
. Crabshaw (hopefully) — How
soon?
Assumes New Post
m - &
ARE YOU MOVING?
Publications, unlike ordinary
mail, are not forwarded automat-
ically on change of address. In or-
der to eliminate delay in getting
your White Deer Review please
notify us several days before your
moving date so the the Review
may reach you promptly in your
new quarters.
A navy man took charge of
America’s new Carribean Gi-
bralter last Friday, when Admi-
ral William D. Leahy, former
chief of U. S. Naval operations
officially assumed his new post as
governor of Puerto Rico succeed-
ing the retiring Blanton Winship.
Jack: “I once had a mustache
like yours but when I realized
how it made me look I cut it off. ’ ’
Jill: “I once had a face like
yours. When I realized that 1
could not cut it off, I grew this
mustache to cover it.”
“Man is not alone in his cap-
acity for great good and great
evil. Consider the bee, it makes
honey at one end and poison at
the other.”
Proderaj—Are you saving up
anything for a rainy day?
Gobber—Yes, in a little while
I expect to have a new cloth top
for my old auto.
Guppy—So you’ve been singing
in the church choir?
Chuzz—Yes.
Guppy—What part?
Chuzz—Well, I sang first base
■when I went in, but they changed
it after they heard my voice.
Guppy—What did you sing af-
ter that?
Chuzz—Short stop.
Bjones—So you don’t like your
neighbors ?
Skjold—No; and that goes for
all neighbors.
Bjones—Why ?
Skjold—Because neighbors are
people who notice everything that
goes on at your house except when
their pets are ruining your lawn.
NOT ME
TOO LATE TO TURN BACK
“You say the elopement was
sort of forced on you?”
“Yep. After she came down the
rope ladder her dad pulled it back
up.”
Not <X K. With Correction
Suitor—I suppose you are a-
ware that I’ve 'been making ad-
be the best method the manufac-! vances to your daughter?
turer has yet found to present his Daddy—Put it there, son. And
products to the 130,000,000 citi- now what about her poor old dad?
zens of this country. If there were
a better oi* cheaper method, he
would find and use it. It has pro-
duced a revolution in better liv-
ing such as has never occurred be-
fore, in this or any other country.
For example, there was no adver-
I r: tising when the sewing machine
was invented. As a result, a whole
generation of women lived, work-
ed and died before this labor sav-
ing device became known to home-
makers. Advertising has complete-
ly rebuilt American life. It has
rescued men and women from
drudgery bv telling them of inven-
tions which enable them to do
their work easier.—Pulaski Coun-
ty (Ind.) Democrat.
r MY NEWSPAPER
with your wife?
First Burglar—“I need glass-
es.”
Second Burglar—“What makes
you think so?” ’
First Burglar—“Well, I was
twirling the knobs of a safe and
a dance orchestra began to play.”
Dzudi — Ever pick a quarrel
Dinocan—No, I leave it to her.
She picks much better ones.
Politicians like the radio be-
cause their talks cannot be ana-
lyzed or cross-examined, and at
the moment listeners seem to like
to hear one-sided discussions, but
usually they have to look at the
next day’s newspaper to tell what
it was all about.
Work faithfully for 8 hours a
day and DON’T WORRY; then in
time you may become the boss and
work 16 hours a day and have all
the worry.—Kentucky Press.
‘
My newspaper acts as spokes-
man for the merchant’s counter
and shelves—contact medium be-
tween seller and buyer; stimulat-
es sales and calls personal atten-
tion to the many advantages of
the merchant and advertiser with
buying in your home town; helps
his merchandising and sales prob-
lems, in order to move his wares;
is constantly impressing the local
value of buying through the home
merchant whose honesty is seldom
questioned; has enjoyed the confi-
dence and support of its readers
and offers its columns as an eco-
nomical means of reaching the
buying public; advertising rates
are based upon quality circulation
and a news standard that binds
our readers’ continued patronage
and support; advocates and helps
build the town, regardless of our
own expense; carries the burden
of criticism when conditions go
wrong: shares with its readers
their joys and sorrows; encourag-
es the indifferent to become re-
conciled to a better life, and when
the grim reaper cuts them down,
extolls their many virtues in the
final commitment.—B. B. Brum-
field, editor Biloxi (Miss.) News.
> -
When one speaks to me of war,
I do not see the glorious parade
of troops . . . the great statesmen
planning and worrying in the
chancellories ... I see the face of
hungry, despaired and terrorized
women and children. — Former
President Hoover, to the Chris-
tian Endeavor Convention at Cle-
veland.
Mrs. Oldwedd (cooinglv) —
Darling, how eould you live with-
out me?
Oldwedd — Cheaper.
believe in forgiving their enemies,
but not until after they have got-
ten even with them.
Hostess—Now, Sonny, why
don’t you go play with your little
friends?
Sonny—I have only one little
friend, and 1 hate him.
Dinocan—Waitress, these eggs
are terrible. What’s wrong with
them ?
Waitress—• I don’t know, sir;
I only laid the table.
Litle Zoo Visitor—Mister, are
those all good gnus?
Keeper—Well, sonny, no gnus
is good gnus.
Overstay — Goodness,' is that
clock right?
There are plenty of people who pointed in one direction and they-
’re headed in another.
Dinocan—Before Jim’s mar-
riage he always said manages
were made in heaven.
Dolcini—'Yes, he still says they-
made there, but now he always
adds that haven can’t be the
place it’s cracked up to be
Emogne—I’ll bet we have some-
thing at our house you don’t
have. We have a new baby.
Hugbberta—Alw, gee; we have
more than that at our house. We
have a new dady.
Peewitt—Why, do you have
such misspelled words and bad
grammar on the sign in your
windows ?
Storekeeper Quizzle—So people
will think that I’m a. fool and
come in expecting to get the best
of me. Thanks to those signs,
business is the best I’ve had in
years.
Little boy: “Can you gave me
anything to relieve pain?”
Doctor: “Where is the pain?”* 1 * * *
Little Boy: “It hasn’t cbme
yet, but daddy is just reading my
school report.”
Investigator: “How is the tel-
ephone service around here? Are
they always prompt?”
Native: “They’re prompt in
part; they never miss sending my
bill on time.”
Daughter: “(When you refused
him your consent, Dad, did he go
down on his knees?”
Dad: “I didn’t notice where he
lit.”
Tri-State Fair
AMARILLO
Sept. 18-23
BEUTLER
BROTHERS
World-Famous
RODEO
In front of
grandstand every
afternoon.
Thrills! Spills!
MIGHTY SHEESLEY
MIDWAY
Stars on Parade
NIGHT
SHOW
A Music Corpora-
tion of America
attraction.
GIGANTIC EXHIBITS
Livestock, agricultural, merchandise,
Cine arts displays.
date admission: adults, 15c; children
under 12. FREE.
Spectacular Froo
Attractions on Grounds
Mrs.: “ That brozen Miss Vamp
boasts that she has been kissed
by every married man in town
except one.”
Mr. (absent-minded) : “I won-
der who he can be?”
A Frenchman learning English
said to his tutor: “English is a
queer language. What does this
mean: Should Mr. Brown who sits
for this constitution consent to
stand again and run he will in
all probability have a walk-
over ? ’ ’
vMrs. Dimwitt—I can’t find a
single pin. Where do they all go
to. anyway?
Dimwitt (tauntingly) — It’s
hard to tell, because they’re
A group of negroes were lying
on the floor infroril of the fire
place when one of them spoke
up:
“Is it a rainin’ out?”
“Ah don’t know,” replied an-
other.
“Well, get up and look,” in-
sisted the first voice.
“Ah, rats,” said the persecut-
ed one, lazily, “call the dawg in
an’ see if he’s wet.”
A salesman once managed to
talk Mrs. Coolidge into 'buying a
large medical volume for the fam-
ily use. She did not tell her hus-
band anything about it, because
she came to feel that that she
had paid too much for the book.
Some time later, she thought
she wrnuld pick up the tome and
glance through it. Upon opening
it she read the following on the
fly lief:
“A newspaper once referred t«s
a neyvly elected state official as-
being a bottle-scarred veteran aff
the World War. The official w&s
so ridiculed that he threatens®
suit. The paper, in order to 3.£~
pease him and quiet the matter
offered to run an opology and cor-
rection which appeared one mcriv
ing s'aying that it was not interr-
ed to refer to 4he official as si
bottle-scarred veteran, but whsk-
wTas intended was to say that he
was a 'bottle-scarred veteran,5 ’—
CAPS and lower case.
Mom—“Food is so high. Sc a,
don’t you think it is extravagens
“Don’t see any recipes for cur-]*'0 ea^ butter and jelly on yo^r
ing suckers—Calvin Coolidge.”
! bread.”
Son—“Why no, Mom, I think
The man who had no other, it’s economy because the same
goal than his own happiness is a | piece of bread serves for both,
bad man. He whose goal is the
good opinion of others is a vir-
tuous man. He whose goal is God
is a great man!”—Count Leo Traveler: “See here, if yoiiTs
Tolstoi. the owner of these bees, I wau&
you to know that one of fchei®
CORRECTING THE BEE
‘Henry,” said Mrs. Jones, “I! stung me.
must give you credit for one
thing. In all our maried life you
have never spoken an unkind
word to me.”
“No, Henrietta,” agreed the
gratified husband.
“What I am wondering,” ad-
ded his wife, “is whether to give
you credit for a lovely disposition
or mere lack of courage.”
Owner: “Well, that’s too bsuL
Just point out the bee that did !£»
and I’ll see she is severely pun-
ished. ’ ’
Zoole—Well, back from visiting
the great scientist? How did yo®
find Mr. Einstein?
Kulper—Brushed, the hair aside?
and there he was.
“Still engaged to Jane?”
“No.”
“Good!”
“What?”
“Good. How did you get i’id of
her?”
“What?’_’
“How did vou drop the old
hag?”
“I married her.”
WELCOME ...
TEACHERS AND PUPILS
of White Deer Schools
Your beauty problems are easily solved
if you ask us
OLUE’S BEAUTY SHOPPE
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Simmons, W. W. White Deer Review (White Deer, Tex.), Vol. 16, No. 26, Ed. 1 Friday, September 8, 1939, newspaper, September 8, 1939; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth871922/m1/3/: accessed July 17, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Carson County Library.