The Lampasas Daily Leader. (Lampasas, Tex.), Vol. 9, No. 3241, Ed. 1 Thursday, May 16, 1912 Page: 3 of 4
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V
A Sad Handicap.
“Sad case of the fellow on t
>urth floor! ”
/“What’s that?”
“He plays the cornet for his own
Lmusement, but he got so hard up lat#
Iy that he had to pawn the instrvv
lent.”'
Tell?" -
‘Now he can’t borrow a dollar In
le entire building because everybody
afraid he’ll get the blamed tooter
jut of pawn.’’
H
Omooi®
WILBXJR D.NESBIT
*-...............-----J
Fish Story.
Knicker—A month ago I told a lie
the water.
Bocker—Well?
Knicker—I cut open the fish I
iught today and found he had swat
►wed it.
re. Winslow’s Soothing' Syrup for Children
lathing, softens the gums, reduces lnflamm»
pa, allays pain, cures wind colic, 25c a bottle.
|When a bachelor is landed by a leap
par girl, he can imagine about how a
Bh out of water feels.
^oated tongue, vertigo, constipation are
.relieved by Garfield Tea.
The more promises a man make*
le more he doesn’t keep.
iet This
lR EE Book
►efore You
decorate
I shows ,20 pretty rooms in modem homes
tin
how to get the Very latest designs for
^j^will send you FREE color
Y expert designers for any
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The Beautiful Wall Tint
nore fashlonablo than wall paper or paint and costa
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Beautiful Tints. Comes all ready to mix with coU
water and put on. Easiest ft*
E use—full direction* on every
package. Pull 5-lb. pkg.. Whiter
50c; Regular Tints, 55c.
>SaniUtryWaU Coatbu? I
Get the FREE,,Book
of 20 Beautiful Rooms
Write today.
Alabastine Company
57 Grandvllle Road, Grand Rapids, Midi,
New York City, Desk 7,105 Water Street
(Texas Directory
iOSWlNGI^S
|R COTTON GINS
LET US SHOW YOU
lUTHERN GAS & GASOLINE ENGINE CO.
HOUSTON, TEXAS
TIRES
SULY-SPRINGFIELD
AUTOMOBILE
tomobile Supplies Vulcanizing Plant
>EL & BURWELL RUBBER & TIRE CO,
lias, Texas Wholesale and Retail
O. E. HOFFMAN COMPANY
IRBERS’ SUPPLIES & FURNITURE
WRITE FOR OUR 1912 CATALOGUE
>9 MAIN STREET DALLAS, TEXA8
THE BEST STOCK
SADDLES
on earth
at reason-
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Illustrated catalogue.
A. H. HESS & CO.
305 Travis St.. Houston. Tea,
ne Star Steel
load
rag
ice $25.00
Indispensable for Level*
ing and Grading Roads.
Manufactured by us in Dallas
Can be Shipped Immediately.
mm
rite
rSTIN BROTHERS TexS
>000000000
THE HOMESEEKING FARMER
; looking for wonderfully productive
TEXAS FARMS
tin healthy climate, perfect title from s?
Hirst hands, can have details for the
tasking. Large body for selection.
[Any good farmer can make this
(land pay itself out on our low
prices and easy terms. Address
SPUR FARM LANDS
SPUR DICKENS COUNTY TEXAS
~Uke Ostrich
and theSznsd
Her Cigarette,
“I never smoke except in my own
jom.”
! “I often smoke when I’m out, but
I’s always for the first time!”
m
m
When his hair began to fall he remark-
ed: “Well, after all
There is plenty to conceal the spot
that’s bare.”
So he used his brush and comb to train
upward o’er his dome
A deceptive but a helpful lock of hair.
lock
Ls the days and weeks went on more
and more his hair was gone.
More and more he swept that
above his scalp,
Which, before he combed each morn, was
bleak as the Matterhorn,
(Which,if-we may use the word, 's the
baldest Alp.)
His horizon line of hair settled slowly
everywhere
Till it dropped beneath the top curve
of his ears,
But with blithest confidence he kept up
his bland pretense
Smiling: “Still my little bald spot ne’er
. appears.”
And his hair kept growing thin—kept
refusing to stay in—
Til laf lhst he was reduced to one lone
strand.
This he brushed up every day o’er hist
cranial display
And with satisfaction then his work hd
scanned.
The philosophy of this Is that he will
never miss
What we haven’t got but think we still
possess. • *
Many of us make one hair bar off llld
that we might bear
And convince us that our Joys are none
the less.
A Pathetic Sight.
One of the most pathetic sights in
the world is a man cleaning house
No woman wants her husband to help
in that task, yet there be some men
so utterly misguided, so determined to
be martyrs, that they insist upon grab
bing a mop and a broom and a dust-
ing cloth and assisting.
When a woman cleans house she
doesn’t want a main around. She wants
to put on the oldest, tackiest-looking
dress she has, and a pair of goloshes,
tie a towel about her head, carry
tacks in her mouth, get dirt on hei
nose, and simply riot in the fierce joj
of beating furniture, slapping books
together and mopping picture frames.
It serves a man right if he insists
upon helping. It is splendid to be
passing his house and to bear him fall
down the cellar stairs with an arm
load of tin cans, and to hear the ao
cusing voice of the wife of his bosom
asking him if he has broken any-
thing!
The man who helps dean house has
exhausted his ingenuity to find ex-
cuses for complaint and he does this
as a last resort, hoping he may wrench
his back or break a leg or get a splin-
ter under his thumb, so that he may
blame it on his wife.
The best thing that could happen to
him would be for one of his old sweet-
hearts to happen along and see him
washing the windows.
Some Statistics.
“Is it true that your business is very
dull during Lent?” asked Dante, who
was gathering the material for his
justly celebrated write-tip of Mephls-
to’s domain.
“Well,” replied Mephisto, “it drops
off in some lines, but we more than
make up the loss with husbands who
are confronting the spring bonnet
proposition.”
No Fatalities.
Mrs. Gooph—I told my husband 1
should simply die if he did not get me
a new Easter bonnet.
Mrs. Wooph—And did he get it?
Mrs. Gooph—Well, you haven’t seen
any funerals leaving our house, have
you?
SHE KNEW.
Mrs. Hixon—Is your youngest son
noisy around the house?
Mrs. Dixon—Indeed he is. He
whistles when he’s a,wake and snores
when he’s asleep.
How Old Was He?
In a country school the boys of a
certain grade were devoted to their
teacher, a young lady of many charms.
One little fellow of rather uncertain
age was constantly proving his devo-
tion by little acts of kindness, which
did not escape the notice Of the teachr
er. Coming up to him one day she
put an arm about his shoulders and
said: “I believe I will kiss you for
being so good to me, but how old are
you?”
“Oh, that’s all right,” he said, “I
am old enough to enjoy it.”—Mack’s
National Monthly.
Easily Overcome by Counsel.
“The trouble is,” said Wilkins as
he talked the matter over with his
counsel, “that In the excitement of
the moment I admitted that I had been
going too fast, and wasn’t paying any
attention to the road just before the
collision. I’m afraid that admission
is going to prove costly.”
“Don’t worry about that,” said his
lawyer. “I’ll bring seven witnesses
to testify that they, wouldn’t believe
you under oath.”-—Harper’s Weekly.
When Your Eyes Need Care
Try Murine Eye Remedy. No Smarting—Feels
Fine—Acts Quickly. Try it for Red, Weak,
Watery Eyes and Granulated Eyelids. Illus-
trated Book In each Package. Murine is
3 for many years. Now dedicated to the Pub*
and sold by Druggists at 26c and 60c per Bottle,
rine Eye Salve in Aseptic Tubes, 25o and 60o.
Murine Eye Remedy Co.v Chicago
lie
Mu
A Correction.
“We are drifting toward a paternal
form of government,” said the econ-
omist.
“Pardon me if I correct you,” re-
sponded the suffragette, gently; “to
be accurate, you should say a mater-
nal form of government.”—Washing-
ton Star.
The Paxton. Toilet Co. of Boston,
Mass., will send a large trial box of
Paxtine Antiseptic, a delightful cleans-
ing and germicidal toilet preparation,
to any woman, free, upqn request.
Joke Writer’s Reply.
Blinks—It says here that a woman
pointed a toy pistol at a burglar and
he surrendered.
Jinks—Wise Burglar.
TO DRIVE OUT MALARIA
Tb
sho
form,
poop:
AND BUILD UP^^ST^
WMi______________ _____ you are taking.
e formula Is plainly printed on every bottle,
awing It is simply Quinine and Iron In a tasteless
rm, and the most effectual form, For grown
Take the Old- Standard GROVl
CHILL TONIC. You know what you are taking.
lalnly printed on every bottle,
i, and the most effect.u
le and children, 60 cents.
Naturally.
“That child actor has a part which
fits like a glove.”
“Yes—-■sort of kid glove.”
Not Telling All of it.
“Does your fiance know your age,
Lottie?”
“Well, partly.”
The system takes kindly to nature’s laxa-
tive, Garfield Tea, which is mild in action
and always effective.
A man is no sooner elected to office
that he begins to kick because it isn’t
more remunerative.
m m m i 11S -11 ■ I
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¥
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i
GASTORIA
ALCOHOL-3 PER CENT
AVegefable Preparation for As -
similating iheFoodandRegula-
firif the Stomachs and Bowels of
Promotes Digestion,Cheer ful-
ness andRest.Con tains neither
Opium .Morphine nor Mineral
Not Narcotic
Recipe of Old DrSAlWElfmjrER
PumpJdn Seed -
A lxSenna •
Rochelle Salts —
Anise Seed *
f^ppermint -.
BiCarbonaUScHes*
Hbr/n Seed -
Clarified, Suyar
Winkryrten Flavor.
For Infants and Children,
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bearsthe
Signature
of
A perfect Remedy for Constipa-
tion , Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea,
Worms .Convulsions .Feverish-
ness and Loss of Sleep.
Facsimile Signature of
The Centaur Company;
NEW YORK.
At6;ihQnthi old - W
WmBSMM
[Guaranteed under the Foodan*[
Exact Copy of Wrapper.
In
Use
For Over
Thirty Years
CASTORUt
THI OSNTAUR OOMPANY, NSW YORK OITY.
“For Every Little
Family Ailment”
Vaseline
“Vaseline** is the purest, simplest, safest home remedy
known. Physicians everywhere recommend it for its
softening and healing qualities.
Nothing so good as “Vaseline” for all affections of. the skin,
scratches, sores, etc. Taken internally, relieves colds and coughs.
For sale everywhere in attractive glass bottles.
Accept no substitute tor "Vaseline”
Our free “Vaseline” Booklet tells you 'many ways In which
“Vaseline” may be useful to you. write for your copy today.
Chesehrough Manufacturing Company
(Consolidated)
17 State Street
New York
W. L. DOUGLAS
SHOES
$2.50 $3.00 $3.50 & $4.00
For MEN, WOMEN and BOYS
W. L. DOUGLAS $4.50 & $5.00
SHOES^EQUAL CUSTOM BENCH
WORK COSTING $7.00 TO $8.00
Wear W. L. Douglas Shoes. You
can save money because they are more
economical and satisfactory in style^ fit
and wear than any other makes. W L.
Douglas name and price stamped on
the bottom guarantees full value and
protects the wearer against high prices
and inferior shoes. Insist upon having the
genuine W. L. Douglas shoes. sTb.utut".
. If yourdealer cannot supply XV. JL. Douglas shoes, write W. L.
Douglas, Brockton, Mass., for catalog Shoes sent everywhere
delivery charges prepaid. Past Color JEyelets used.
THE SECRET OF LONG LIFE.
Do not sap the springs of life by neglect of the human mechanism, by allowing
the acbumulatioil of poisons in the system. An imitation of Nature’s method of
restoring waste of tissue and impoverishment of the blood and nervous strength is
to take an alterative glyceric extract (without alcohol) of Golden Seal and Oregon
grape root, Bloodroot, Stone and Mandrake root with Cherrybark. Over 40 years
ago Dr. Pierce gave to the public this remedy, which he called Dr. Pierce’s Golden
Medical Discovery. He found it would help the blood in taking up the proper ele-
ments from food, help the liver into activity, thereby throwing out the poisons from
the blood and vitalizing the whole system as well as allaying and soothing a cough.
No one ever takes cold .unless constipated, or exhausted, and having what we
call mal-nutrition,which is attended with impoverished blood
and exhaustion of nerve forces The ‘‘Discovery’’ is an all-
round tonic which restores tone to the blood, nerves and
heart by imitating Nature’s methods of restoring waste
of tissue, and feeding the nerves, heart and lungs on rich
red blood.
READERS
of this paper desiring to buy any-
thing advertised in its columns should
insist upon having what they ask for,
refusing all substitutes or imitations.
fHENEW FRENCH REMEDY. No.|,No.2.No.3.
TKJTD ADI J’Tk |ki Used in French
I ■■ Ess il r’ IW Iw Hospitals with
GREAT SUCCESS, CURES KIDNEY, BLjI
agents wanted—-Exclusive territory. Good chance to
build up permanent business. Mail us $10 for 86 lb.
Feather Bed and receive,without cost, 6 lb. pair pll*
J°ws. Freight on all prepaid. Newfeathers, best tick-
ing. Satisfaction guaranteed. Turner & Cornwell, Featbe*
Dealer*, Dept. U, Charlotte, N, C. Ref. Com’l Nat’l Bank.
Mbs. Dorn.
** I suffered from pain under 'my right 'shoulder Made also a very
severe cough,” writes Mrs. W. Dorn, of New Brookland, S. C., to Dr.
K- V, Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y. “Had four different doctors and none did
me any good. Some said I had consumption, others said I would have
to have an Operation. I was bedridden, unable to sit up for six months ■
—and was nothing but a live skeleton. You advised me to take Dr.
Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery and Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant Pellets.
When I had taken one bottle of the ‘Discovery’ I could sit up for an
hour at a time, and when I had taken three bottles I could do my
cooking and tend to the Children. I took fourteen bottles in all and was
then in good health. My weight Is now 167 pounds.
mm™
SORE!
EV&H Salve
W. N. U., DALLAS, NO. 18-1912.
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES
HHH
SmMlS
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Vernor, J. E. The Lampasas Daily Leader. (Lampasas, Tex.), Vol. 9, No. 3241, Ed. 1 Thursday, May 16, 1912, newspaper, May 16, 1912; Lampasas, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth889212/m1/3/: accessed July 18, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Lampasas Public Library.