The Matagorda Gazette. (Matagorda, Tex.), Vol. 1, No. 21, Ed. 1 Saturday, December 18, 1858 Page: 1 of 4
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: Matagorda County Area Newspaper Collection and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the Matagorda County Museum & Bay City Public Library.
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11
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PROPRIETOR.
[“•jEwssss sum s»mi« bwis mmaasrofl
SALES' HODGES,
NUMBER 21
S3
THE SHADOW OF AN ASS.
quarter to the
Each subsequent insertion .....
KISSES AND CREAM.
mercy’s name,
CA MP MEETING TALK.
rather gul
j ?
MK
h
1/
in what tne electors call a state of Zzpothy-
rny, myst f, and after a minute or two the
broad gri ,i upon her face began to ripen in-
to the widest, and deepest, and loudest,
guffaw which that cachinnatory female
15 oo
18 oo
25:00
35 00
i TT
18 00 ;
25 00 ;
35 00 ;
60 00 ;
Jerome N. Bonaparte Jr., is on
.visit, to ids-parents in Baltimore.
h
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A /'
- times
A Mysterious Disappearance—A Kansas
correspondent states that the Free State
party in that Territory has suddenly dis-
appeared. A convention recently held to
take steps for admission as a free State, and
to arrange for future political movements,
was very thinly attended, and finally ad-
journed without doing anything at all.—
This result is due partly to the conviction
that the contest is over, and that Kansas
can never be anything but a free State, and
partly to the desire of the people of Kansa«
to attend somewhat to their own affairs.—•
They are all very actively engaged in cul-
tivating their farm.es, building houses and
barns, and making themselves generally I
comfortable.
. Pro-
Mft ■ ■■hind them more
•; • Cant Buckhout.
B
L.
<
A
re
-?■
■-re
V
. I -
fel
ed suddenly forward, and I—tumbled off,
like a sack of potatoes,within three yards
of the laughing girls, the saddle rolling on
top of me.
Some one, at Mary’s instigation, had cut
the girth, or unbuckled it, and consequent-
ly, at the first impetus it received, the
saddle and I slipped off together. The
laughter lulled a moment when I fell, but
the moment they ascertained that 1 was
not injured, it burst forth again fortissimo
confuria! Stopping my ears against the
hateful sound, I gathered myself up as
well as I could, and, leaving the saddle to
take care of itself, started at full speed
after my runaway horse. But all my efforts
were unable to exclude the shrill cry sent
after me by Mary’s own rosy lips kisses and
cream,! kisses and cream ! kisses and cream !
'l
VOLUME I,
1 r/TirrmiA
AZK
B
ft
The Cigar and the Girls.—He who doth
not smoke has either known no griefs, or
refuses himself the softest consolation next
to that which comes from heaven. What !
softer than woman ? asks the young reader, bargain. The dispute at last grew
Young man, woman teases as well as con-
soles. Woman makes half the sorrows
which she boasts the privilege to console.
Warnau consoles, it is true, while we are
young and handsome; and when we are old
and ugly, woman snubs and scolds us. On
the whole, then, woman in this scale, and
the weed in that, let old Jupiter, now, hang Upon this the orator commented severely
i
■V
I.
& I
in order that the wrapper can be ~slipped ablej eternal, which invites men to duty by
precepts, and deters them from iniquity by
prohibitions; and which never commands
or i
the wicked are unmoved by menaces or in-
junctions. Of this law nothing can be
changed or altered, nor can the whole, or
any part of it, be repealed or canceled. No
authority, either of the senate or the peo-
ple, can release men of its obligation. It
is so plain as to need no commentator or
interpreter; nor is it one law at Rome, an-
other at Athens; one at this time, another
hereafter; but the same iternal and immor-
tal law must bind all nations of all ages—
under the control of one presiding and di-
recting power, even God himself, by whom
this law was contrived, adjusted, and
established; to which, whoever refuses
obedience, must fly from himself, and cast
off the nature of a man—and this he cannot
do without suffering the severest tortures,
though he should escape those punishments
which are commonly believed.—Grotius.
U:
1
J
y
I
I
on their childish injustice, in devouring
with attention a paltry story about an ass'
shadow, while they turned a deaf ear to a
cause in which the life of a human being
was involved. From that day, when a man
showed a preference for discussing small
and contemptible subjects to great and im-
portant ones, he was said to “dispute on
the shadow of an ass ”
Law of Reason.—Right reason is a true
Growth of a Western Village.—A letter j
frrm Fairbury, Illinois, says last November
fond ateSiilarat^ ^iere was one h°use kere, now there
are over forty dwellings, seven stores
three warehouses, a church, school-house,
railway depot, steam mill and other build- ' i
ings—all created within eleven months.—■ 1
This is only a slight sample of our progress
here in the west.
They are exhibiting a man in Naw
York—that grand headquarters of the won- '
derful, as well as horrible—who eats noth-
ing but paving stones ! Here is the placard
that stares the passers-by of the show-
room :
“The wonder of the nineteenth century !
Mons. Guiset, the gre at stone-eater. This
wonderful man eats nothing but paving
stones, pebbles, rocks, Are, for his break-
fast, dinner, and supper. He wifi b-rolJow
a number of large stones in presence of the
audience. He lives and subsists entirely
on the above food, drinks nothing but
water, and has perfect health. Physicians
cannot account for this unparalelled living
wonder.”
k ••
But I will hot trouble you, will not tant-
alize you with any additional rhapsodies.
The gcdling of the bow and arrows knows
how long I might have held on, if I had not
caught a glimpse of my friend, the cousin,
turning the northeast corner of the barn.
With a hurried and emphatic prayer for
forgiveness, I made a show of assisting
Mary and her cream up a short flight of
steps, leading from the dairy to the level of
the back yard, and then joined the cousin.
I felt a good deal of anxiety as to how she
* * might take the thing, and was not a little
'pleased to find no change in her demeanor , - - , ,
o.-looks Howard's me. Meed, ail thing8 une ? One glance told the story
considered, I felt inclined to think that she BLiCK coo5' “ "
One of our exchanges has received the
following good story from a corrcsp ndent,
who is sojourning among the mountains in
the Old Dominion. It smacks of the truth :
“ A few miles further along the base of
the mountain which forms the chief feature
of the landscape in this locality, there is a
lonely farm-house, and within it as lovely a
specimen of blue-eyed young womanhood
as you will see in a month of Sundays any-
where. It so happened that I made the
acquaintance of a young gentleman who
calls this blue-eyed beauty cousin ; and be-
--—excited by his enthusiastic mountain.
praises of her loveliness, I accompanied
him on a visit to the lonely farm-house.
Energetic as were the expressions he made immediate vicinity of the residence of Ma-
nse of, when I saw the little witch, 1 was ’ — n'1u— T r-’xre-reu —- i,x-..aa x.m
obliged to confess that they had not lean
exagerated She is just one of tl e very
nicest, plumpest, dearest, sweetest little
creatures that ever made a fellow’s mouth
water.
Well, sir, I was duly introduced to the
I <4 <<
f « « , ____,
W Advertisements of a person al character, when admis-
sable, will be charged double price.
WPolitical circulars or public addresses for individual
heat commands I must 'obey. May I not hope to tee echoed front the door of the summer-house, Jauffiiter, I dashed the rowels of my spurs
yonbei-e to-morrow evetimg ? I have two .ymmg lady and turning ia that direction I found an- savagely into the horse’s sides. IM ’----J
The Greeks had a proverb which ran
thus : “To dispute on the shadow of an
ass.” This took rise from an anecdote
which Demosthenes is said to have related
to the Athenians, to excite their attention
during his defence of a criminal, which was
being but inattentively listened to.
“ A traveler,” he said, “ once went from
Athens to Megara on a hired ass. It hap-J
pened to be the time of the dog-days, and j
at noon. He was much exposed to the un-
mitigated heat of the sun ; and not finding
so much as a bush under which to take
shelter, he bethought himself to descend
from the ass, and seat himself under its
shadow The owner of the donkey, who
accompanied him, objected to this, declar-
ing to him that when he let the animal, the
use of its shadow was not included in the
so warm
that it got to blows, and finally gave rise
to an action of law.”
After having said so much, Demosthenes
continued the defence of his client; but the
auditors, whose courisosity he had piqued,
were extremely anxious to know how the
judges decided on so singular a cause.—
I visiters with me, and I could not easily have any con-
■ vernation with you in their presence. The summer-
| bouse at the foot of the garden is a nice place for a
I tete-a-tete. Perhaps you will meet me there, just after
dark. Au re voir. MARY.
There, sir, what do you think of that ?
Those kisses, then, were not mere cream-
preserving unavoidabilities, after all. She
did ‘rather like it,’ then, sure enough. The
manner of this note surprised me more than V1 U1 111C
i the matter. The chirograph^ was ically the best of my recollection and belief, when
exquisite ; and the tete-a-tete, and the an, revoir ■ - - -
at the bottom. Pretty fair for a barn-door
beauty, wasn’t it? She talked well, and I
did hear that she had been at a boarding
school somewhere ; but I had certainly no
idea of such a delicate, little missive as
that being within the scope of her practic-
abilities. I am in luck to-day, thought I.
But the fact is, I always am in luck where
women rre concerned. The dear creatures
know a thing or two, you may depend upon
it. And then, there is a silky softness
about tnis jetty moustache of mine that
leaves a sort of exotic electricity upon the
lip it touches, which never fails to go di-
rectly to the heart. I am rather sorry for
Mary, poor, little thing 1 But I can’t help
it. "it may be a misfortune sometimes to
be too fascinating—but you can’t call it a
fault, you know. No indeed.
Little confidential communications of this
sort, little soliloquial dialogues between
me and myself, followed the reception of
the note, and continued to occupy my at-
tention for some time. It may seem strange
to commit them to paper, and thus take a
third party into partnership in the affair ;
but th a fact is, I have a decided proclivity
towards confession making, and I intend to
write a book some day in the style of the
‘self-torturing sophist,’ Jean Rousseau.
On the evening of the following day, a
solitary horseman, with jet black moustache
and whiskers to match, might have been
seen wending his way along the base of the
aim The stars were peeping out one
after another from the loop h des in the sky,
as I reached a thick clump of trees in the
THS GAZUTTE,
PUBLISHED EVERY S-ATURDAY BYj
$®-Terms.—If paid in advance $3 00
If not paid in six months $3 50
If not paid until the expiration of the year. . .$4 00
W-fto paper discontinued until all arrearages are paid.
of Advertlsing.—One square (ten lines )first
insertion 9 2
Each subsequent insertion................ 50
1 square 1 year $10 00 : 6 months $7 00 ; 3 months oO
2 “ 18 00 ; “ 12 00; “ 10 00
’ .■/ -j f\r\ . u it an
i column
out the balance and weigh them both; and
if thou give tiie preference to woman, all I
can say is, the next time Juno ruffles thee,
O, Jupiter, try the weed.—Bulwer.
Cartridges for Sporting.—A writer in
Porter’s Spirit gives the following direc-
tions for making cartridges :
Get a cylindrical piece of hard wood,
some two sizes less than the bore of the
gun, sand papered to effect smoothness of
surface, with the end a trifle the smallest,
A chap down South went to camp meet-
ing, and gives the following amusing ac-
count of the disjointed conversation he
heard there :
“ Yes indeed,” “two talking of course,
and my brother Tom says that Henry
Stotes brags about the many times he had
kissed her right in the mouth, and she
never slaps him at all, when nobody’s nigh,
and I am sure I would die if people talk of
me as they do about her—’*
•‘ Corn is up again you know’, and I shall
make at least six hundred if I make a peck
and consequently—”
“ What a spectacle it is' to‘swah. Chaw.
Ah wonday if these people—dem’d pooty
gul, ain’t she—build theyah own tents, ow
hiway to do it fowah ’em must be a great
boah to—”
“Be married in six weeks from last Tues-
day. I heard ma talking about it, but
you musn’t mention it for the world, for its
a great secret.”
“Really now I do think she is as ugly
as—”
“The finest sow you ever saw, sir, Berk-
shire, and has nine splendid pigs It was
the best trade I ever made, and I wouldn’t
take thirty dollars for—”
“Scolloped peticoats I only look, Amy !
nine flounces and hoops in the bargain !
Oh, how I should like to—”
“Go to a pic-nic on Thursday ? Oh thank
vou. You don’t know how I woulA-fove to
be present, sir. I am so 1
ing dance, but father says that—
“I am truly gratified, my dear young
friend to learn that you are so deeply im-
pressed with the necessity of immediate
repentance, and I shall, this very day
make—”
“Ten yards of gimp for the bosom, and
maroon ’ velvet binding for the neck and I DssrATCH.-With.n the past ten months
sleeves—” i ^ie S‘1’P Criterion, Capt. Harding, has been
“The finest baby you ever saw, black ? cleared*three times from Mobile to Havre, 1
j eyes and large limbs, six weeks old and! carrying away 12,406 bales of cotton.
x^ighs—”
Sixty pounds and a
bushel. None better in the country.— I
Free from garlic and cockle, aud large I
grained. I hold it at—” I
“ Stillops, next Saturday, . Bothsydca ■
the former Congressman, will speak as he I
says—” H
“Ah Mr. Pepper you flatter me so I Just ■
so, how horribly Kate Wilmot is dressed. H
j She will wear yellow, though it makes her ■
look like—”
“Fever and agy, I believe. They’ve all ■
been up with it, and now the old man’s I
got—”
“The sweetest bonnet I ever saw.— I
Where did you get it ? I must recommend I
my sister to your—” I
“Water melon patch. Stole every darn- a |
ed one of them. Some of ’em not half ripe. I
I swow I’ll shoot them if they don’t—” •J ]
“Go to the white sulpher. It is the best «r
place in the whole world ma’am, I’ve seen 41
some of the most wonderful effects of the 1
waters J Tom Halacuset was cured of—” I
“Twenty-five pounds of butter a week Jll
and always get a quarter of a pound and ‘ I
sometimes—” 1
“Four eggs, two handsful of flour, a dab ■
of yeast half a tin cup full of molasses and B
it makes—”
“The best manure I ever used, sir,— I
vastly superior to guano, or to superpbos- Hl
phate. Two hundred and fifty poundsKto V
the acre raised me.”
“The handsomest woman on the ground. M
I can see none to equal her except Miss ■
Mary—and she’s got—”
“Both hind legs spavined. And there is 'I
a speck on her right eye that is bound to-” I
laYagrferbLdo'n»Me/univer3at’,'invari'- “That beautiful girl iu black over there, . J
, I never saw her but once before and that ■
was at—”
“Mr. Muggin’s failure sir. And he’s tak- i
prohibite 'the virtuous’in vainUthough ing to drinking awfully, and only last week I
hal-” I..,-, •1
“His head under my arm, and was g- I
ging him in the mouth when he got my I
finger—” . f
“Between the 10th and 15th of Septem- I
ber—I will get my wheat to market and it
will bring” jMli
“His gray hairs in sorrow to the gravdH
Oh, it is awful to think—”
“How close she hangs to his arm. She
ought to be ashamed of herself, and never 1
saw him until—”
“William was born twenty-five years
ago last April. I am an old woman, and I
gray hairs makes—”
“Toot! toot I Preaching will commence I
now,” said the presiding elder, and we heard
no more.
off easily; cut a number of pieces of strong
paper, of the proper size, say two by five
inches; roll one of these tightly around the
slick, and fasten with paste, leaving the
paper projecting about a fourth of an inch
; paper upon it,
withdraw the stick, and place the paper to
dry—taking care that it preserves its cy-
lindrical form.
Get some hard wood sawdust, the wood-
pile furnishes the best, sift through a fine
sieve and dry thoroughly; place a little in
the bottom of the cylinder, then a layer of
sqot, then more dust, until the cartridge is
filled; place a wad on top, fold over, and
it is done. In loading cut off the top so as
to expose the charge, and ram lightly.
The Gentlewoman.—“I cannot forbear
pointing out to you, my dearest child,” said
Lord Collingwood to his daughter, “ the
’pesconce, however, and at gient advantages that will result fiom a
temperate conduct and sweetness of manner
to ail people on all occasions. Never for-
ge1 tnat you are a ge-A iewoman, and all
your words and actions should ni<A.o you
gentle. I never heard your mother—your
dear, good mother—say a harsh or hasty
word in my life. Endeavor to imitate her.
I am quick and hasty in my temper ; but,
my darling, it is a misfortune which, not
having been restrained in my youth, has
caused me inexpressible pain. It has given
me more trouble to subdue this impetuosity
than anything I ever undertook.”
Mr. Theophilus Popp of Poppvillo,
Popp county, fancying himself to be very
5 Ques-
tion” to her one evening, beneath a jpoplar
tree, when she referred him to her jwppy,
who, when asked for his consent—laboring
under the stimulus of ginger-pop popped
him out of doors, to the tune of “Pop goes
the weasel.”
Oh, what a pop !
I made myself as agreeable as }
1 talked politics, crops and cattle to the
farmer, and preaching and poultry to the
old lady, neglecting no opportunity in the Failing to find any one, I stopped and lis-
meantime to make the best possible impres-
sion upon the mind of the young one.—
Soon after mid-day we had an old fashioned
but excellent country dinner, and after that
1 took a stroll out of doors. As I was re-
turning to the house again, I saw pretty
Mary coming out of the dairy and grasping
a large pan ofcream with both hands.
Now, I don't pretend to undertake to
justify thei conduct I was then and there
■giilty of, but 1 certainly can plead pallia-
ling circumstahccs, "A.ief among which
was the richest, rarest, ripest, mwA su-
premely luscious specimen of twin rose-
buds ever desecrated by the application
thereto of that vernacularly vulgar, quad-
"igrammatic monosyllable which men call
lipsr* Tkrw-*-fa!?cinated me, charmed me,
treated me in fact as the serpents are said
to treat the little birds. Before I knew
what I was about, I had one arm around
her neck, and was quaffing long draughts
of rectar, such as the Gods of Olympus
ficvef’ d'.earned of. Without sacrificing a
whole panful of cream, Mary could, of
course, di) nothing to check me, and with
a sort of guilty joy I sipped, or rather gul
pef the sweets before me, and showered
blessings an the head of the cow from
whose udder that cream was milked, while
I rioted in Lie conscious security which it
afforded. Though I should eat strawberries
and cream three hundred and sixty-five
a year, I shall never see them again
without a Mvid remembrance of those glori-
ous kisses. Ripe, red strawberries and
ripe, red lips are naturally suggestive of
each other, and cream and kieses are syno-
nyms henceforth, forever, in my vocabulary.
Tlanks to \enus, thanks to Cupid, thanks
to Pomona, |nd thanks to Pau or Pails, or
whosoever e se the god or goddess of cream
may be.
Lk’il
Is
j
A!
beyond a doubt, aud if a clever caricaturist
------------ a drawing of me, in the
character of a ‘stuck pig,’ it would have
been a little fortune to him.
The farmer’s wife still doubting, Molly
J became energetic :
“Why, mistress, jist look-ee here at dese
lipses o’ mine 1 I ’raly was afraid young
master was a-gwine to chaw’r ’em all up
into sassige meat. An den de way he
done scrouged me 1 I had no more bref lef’
in me dan a busted blather ! I’s. hearn tell
i xt ' • a • x- r „ o’ bars a huggin’ people to def, but I’d run
1,, A j ft • xaG t from him a heap sooner nor I would from
any oar m de mountains. He s de bery wust
kind I”
The oid lady’s incredulity could not stand jjt^ular with his lady-love, “poped the
such ocularly demonstrative testimony as
that of Molls “lipses.” She looked at -me
steadily, I being by that time pretty nearly
’ ’ ......' \ ‘J
keif, and after a minute or two the
p'i.i
to the widest, and deepest, and loudest
chorus could boast of. I had heard what I
aim iouu laugdiLig m my time, our tne way
these girls, and Molly, and the old lady
ry’s father. There I hitched my horse, and
on the wings of expectation, if notofloYe,
I was scon flying over the garden-fence.
I reached the summer house, a lattice work
erection with a single entrance, all covered
over with a luxurious growth of vines,
.,^4.,^..,^ —j -------- - - thickly studded with clustering grapes,
r retie beauty, and to the old folks, to whom and dark enough to hide Mushes, or any-
possible. thing else Guided by a sort of faint rust-
,« to the ling, and a still fainter, a barely audible
sigh, I sprang to the corner whence it came.
tened. I heard her breathing—a zephyr
murmuring o’er a bower of roses 1 I was
already all trembling and wild with excite
merit, aid this sound completed my intox-
ication. I rushed forward, and a soft, , - .
warm, yielding form lay passively panting about tne kissing,
in my embrq.ee. You, Moll,” I’ejh
Thrilling with eustacy in every fibre, I
strained her convulsively to my heart.—
Her bosom throbbed wildly, and her palpi-
tating form seemed to heave with uncon-
trollable agitation. With a vivid recollec-
tion of the creamy kisses, I hastily sought
the twin rosb-huds a'g'w.-?., ‘ixA-AA. rjaqj q/lM
ger lips fairly devoured them. Tossed up-
on a sea of tumultuous rapture, my whole
soul seemed concentrated in my lips, and
at each successive kiss, I felt as if it were
about to leave the body forever—exhaled |
It was enough for me to feel her little j
all the more violent from the efforts she
m
minutes were thus passed I
toll, for I was absolutely drunk with the
deep draughts of bliss which I was quaffing
and could take no note of the lapse of time.
It was, however, when the exhalation of
m;
had about reached their acme, that I was
startled into consciousness and compara-
tive sobriety by a sound close at hand,
which jarred most rudely upon my high-
strung nerves. I listened. It was a titter
—an unmistakable, discordant, prosaic, un-
ethereal, every-day, vulgar female titter,
and within three feet of my elbow. Before
I had time for any sort of speculation upon
the subject, it had grown into a full-mouth-
ed, hilarious, uproarous laugh. Simultane-
ously with the titter, appeared a faint, blu-
ish, lambent light, not unlike that of a
glow-worm. It was an ignited lucifer match, considered pretty fair specimens of long
which burst forth into a flame the very and loud laughing in my time, but the way
moment that the titter burst into a laugh these girls, and Molly, and the old lady
In another moment a candle was lit, the roared, puts a half bushel extinguisher, at
summer-house was flooded with light, and; least, up(m all my previous experiences in
then, before my eyes, (but certainly not in | that line. Fortunately for me, Mary’s
my arms) stood pretty Mary, in her '6wn lineiher was so overcome by her exertions
proper person, holding both hands to her ; that she staggbred away from the door,
plump sides, laughing as if she would burst! holding- ber fat sides, and eventually falling
.he name of the Venus of all! The waY was ^ow clear, or at all events 11
5 way °f all remaining ob-1
furiously, all that' stacles, including one of Moll’s cronies, who i
’ was ! was listening outside, and ■— T --- --- !
a great, fat, frowsy, I a goosebeiiy bush. With one bound
. „ , ------greasy “she n-igger,”'with a 'head a yard'1 Geared the guM.-n paling and’?-
rather liked it than otherwise, ana left the-e>1-i3 - ; x u.;, X . rained Av h »rsr-
house with a determination to cultivate- (almost) .iom clown o .
Alary’s acquaintance assiduously. Two days Aa™’ ?[l,mb°L ’"A V" A" I p/’v“r'
<-x J i t x -J i xixiii- Jumbo and Queen of Timbuctoo I—lips un. come. As bad In-re wou.d have it, the on-
afterwards, I was most egregiously titilla-,^ A lv vt-.v .A m y 1 .. -
ted by the reception of a
Mary. It came through the hands of
sable wagoner, was nicely written on nice.
'paper, nicely folded, nicely sealed, and1 . ■ - - .
•nicely directed, and contained the following i though her kinky woo
'Ds*»S«:-I.K.lr.ia ^a willthiak m forvrt ty-fiy >-am ..Id, if she «. a day ,
vations to i close,.. I henrd M
25 00 ;
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MATAGORDA, TEXAS, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18, 1858.
other pleasant surprise in store for me in
the person of the ‘two young-lady visitors,’
in whose presence, after all, we had had a
most interesting interview. They were,
both of them shouting, roaring, shrieking
with laughter, uncontrollable, and appa-
rently inextinguishable.
It takes a good deal to throw me into a
state of frustration—but not quite that much.
That was the only moment of my life, to
an earthquake would have been unequivo-
cally welcome. Any terrible convulsion of
nature, any tremendous concussion of the
elements that would put a stop to those far
more terrible and tremendous ha-has !
For a single moment I attempted to hu
mor the joke, and laugh with the laughers;
but the extraordinary noise I made abso-
lutely frightened me. Far from being a
ha-ha! it was a regular boo-hoo! as much
like crying as any thing that wasn’t crying
could be. There is, or at least there was,
one man in the world, and only one I think,
who could imitate that ‘doleful sound.’—
He lives, or did live, in Cockspur Street,
Charing Cross, London, and has been an
undertaker’s man — a ‘ mute ’ — a public
mourner at funerals—for more than half a
century. He was chosen originally for his
unparalleled Tugubrionsness of face, voice,'
and manner, and this wubegoneness, which
Las for so long a time been his bread and
butter, has been improving, by every pos-
sible artifice, for fifty years or more. The
moment I heard that laugh I thought of
that man. I think he could come up to it,
almost—not quite.
Finding that dodge wouldn’t work I saw
nothing for it but to ‘cut and run.’ Just .
as I had come to this determina timi the
farmer’s wife, who was still fatter than Md
Moll, made her appearance in the dooNway
through which I must pass; so that- there
was no possible’means of escape unless I
should either knock the old lady dow.’i or
jump oyer her head, neither of which ex-
ploits did I feel competent to undertake at
that moment. *
“What on earth is all this rumpus
about ?” aslred the old lady, as she stared
round the place in every direction
Her eyes finally resting upon Moll, she
exclaimed : “And what, in mercy’s name,
is the matter with you?”
“Dere’s a. heap de matter, mistress,” re-
plied ^Mod. I don’t know but I shill get beyond the stick, fold the
ober it, dougn. But I was a’ mos’ gone,
cat’s a fau’. Dis young gempelum done
kiss me to def a’ mos’; he did indeed, mis-
tress, shore as ye’re alive.”
xAt this juncture, all eyes were turned
upon the “young gempelum,” and as the
novelist say “the effect may be more easily
imagined than described.” The old lady,
however, seemed disposed to be skeptical
•ejoined she, “how dare you
say such a thing ?” “Indeed, an’ deed an
double deed it’s de rale gospil trufe, mistress
Jist you ax Miss Mary ef ’taint-.”
Asking Miss Mary was easy enough, but
answering was another thing. Laughter
had so entirely taken possession of her that
articulation was evidently impossible. She
nodded Ycx ‘
the same time pointed Ina’:.at me.
I was worth looking at, about that time,
bv yxziavx vxvumu, cxuax
I had seen aud made a
in the deep-drawn sighs which accompanied I
it. I. ---------OL I*---- P 1 |
form quivering with excitement, which was i
anifestly made to suppress it. How many
am unable to
Upon a tomb-stone in the church
yard of the Reformed Church in Sleepy
Hollow, near Tarrytown, is an inscription
“in memory of Capt. John Buckhout, who
departed this life April 10, 1785, aged 103
years, and left behind him w’hen he died
„ x 240 children and'grand children. Also,
them'l ' " ihulplesly upon a rustic bench, near the door, j Mary, the wife of John Buckhout who died
And who in the name of the Venus of ail' iUe wa.v was 11O'V Gear, or at ad events I [August-, 1853, aged 72 years.” The church
the Hottentots, who then had I been hug- “»<»! cleared the way pf all remaining <>b-i jn and is> Qne of
pm- and kissing so furiously, all thatp*’*0'™: ■noniU.ng me of .*.,1 s ciomes, who > ; country
. jx was : was bsterr.ng outside, and whom I capsiz-iT,neonuic ies in ne country.
. • ed hi a cr.nreM-.'uT-’busn. With '6tie bdflh'd bal ly 1 L..L1.A AcJ
j11 al so
, nose
flat-iron, and -lips—great Mumbo There was sti'ii one difficulty to over- : 'uie . 'Aiviparte Jr., is on a
^-luusi Lilin “1 2--------c m.-Zi,..„x„„ I re UH. come. 1A.S bad luck wopld have it^ the on- visit, to iiis- parents in Baltimore. He is a
S^X/ftom5 and indescribable. Expressive silence ly w;p'of getting to the road, on horseback . only brmher now living of
the hands of a i”‘^e’-their magnitude ! ‘Labia molHa w to pass,ter- -qffi twhich skirted . G graduated at
written on nice ‘iemissa? the foot oi the gm An. Mary and the other \ /
The sooty wench was as gray, too, as a imps of mischief, her companions, knew Dost . omt m A-?<.. rehortiy after the ac-
" ' 1 1 ’ 1— — i was tied I this perfectly well, and they were all stand- cession of the present Emperor of France
up, to prevent me from feeling it'; and six- ing at the paling, waiting for me, when I. to -power, this young ^American Bonaparte
Dear Snre-IaiR afraid you will teiuk AGy* " 1 ’o't .to ^bridKe ■' & French h- uuiLieu-
anl unmaidenly. but! arStuiAIy impcilreve, Ma I -’■‘‘MO bring tnese debg fu user- m .<•—<’ lent I sat ISjnthe . re ( ,.;i. warand
wm temperament, and so constituted that when my vations to 1 close,. t hen -d Maty’s laugh sto-tegA an i heard again that accursed ’ ‘ '
r 1 r ■' ... i .. .i t i i. j xT. _ i p 3 been j,:cessiu’ ni, aotairnng position
He bound-i under the banner of France.
young lady and turniaf in that- direction I found
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Lipsey, E. J. The Matagorda Gazette. (Matagorda, Tex.), Vol. 1, No. 21, Ed. 1 Saturday, December 18, 1858, newspaper, December 18, 1858; Matagorda, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1329835/m1/1/?q=%22%22~1: accessed July 9, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting Matagorda County Museum & Bay City Public Library.