The Washington American. (Washington, Tex.), Vol. 2, No. 28, Ed. 1 Tuesday, May 26, 1857 Page: 1 of 4
This newspaper is part of the collection entitled: Texas Digital Newspaper Program and was provided to The Portal to Texas History by the The Dolph Briscoe Center for American History.
- Highlighting
- Highlighting On/Off
- Color:
- Adjust Image
- Rotate Left
- Rotate Right
- Brightness, Contrast, etc. (Experimental)
- Cropping Tool
- Download Sizes
- Preview all sizes/dimensions or...
- Download Thumbnail
- Download Small
- Download Medium
- Download Large
- High Resolution Files
- IIIF Image JSON
- IIIF Image URL
- Accessibility
- View Extracted Text
Extracted Text
The following text was automatically extracted from the image on this page using optical character recognition software:
59S
t
NEWS, POLITICS, TEMPERANCE, EDÜI
1, LITERATURE, AND THE PROGRESS OF MANKIND.
" Heaven aná
I tfaát '#e árie iniofteot." .
"WASHINGTON. T:
ESDAY, MAY 26, 1857,
NUMBER
PUBLISHED EYJÉRY TUESDAY BY
I
W.J. PENDI
TW—-g.OOpr
WlStaémTBESDAÍ
W, fc CO.
liiMraM.
fci . BATES 07 tat „
tboM who desire to advertise in the
AjUeriCán. we respectfully call their atten
tton to the following rate :
J Iflift l*t Insertion $100 {each rob. Uwertiou, 80ct«
1 year 10,00, Si* (Mouths ,|700
• ' do
d. 26.00,
1 i4
S 4o
• *>
* <o
« «• 4*
* «• *
« «• *•
1 «• de
0 * 4*
f'JL square is eight Knes.
We expect in future one quaver in ad-
Tf.—- AH noficestobc-puMished for aless
tinw toan six months, will be chwjged strict-
ly l>y the square, and the money Bust be
paid in advance. Persons desiring U rera't
■acmey to usoaa 1 to through the mails at
wurriak.
OB HO DISTREBOTIOK,
mri the wsstioh-
The question of the distribution of the pro <
ceeds of the public lands, seems just at this 1
jipfji pin moment to be one of paramount
consideration. Every sane man knows thattaa
equitable distribution of ihe-proceeds aforesaid
has from time immemorial constituted a leading
i a the old liae whig confessional, and
re equally as well aware that the
of such a principle and the s¿t-
ttogforth of such a precedent by the Whig
party has, until of late, met with the severest
fljpnitMii and denunciation from the Demo-
cratic party. We are told by the <$gK>sition
*w Geo. jackson vetoed the famous land Vill
of Mr. Clay, and that John C. Calhoun has
left upon record the most perfect and concise
argument against this constitutional right of
distribution that has ever been promulgated.
Did Gen. Jackson veto the bill aforesaid?
Never, his personal dislike to Mr. Clay, led
him to pocket the bill; he never vetoed it, but
withheld it to be reasoned away in the ensuing
Congress, in the face toe of his racamenda-
tfrm <g the dfatribcetion policy in his annual
mMmge to the Congress preceding. But this
* concise and masterly argument" against the
•constitutionality of the distribution policy
rathar gets us, and we should like to have
aaaae of oar Democratic co temporaries point
mrtofte precise time and place when such
" couciae and masterly argument" was deliver-
(J. |n Kr. Calhoun's speech of January 1833
Clay's land bill, he clearly sets forth
•sad establishes the fact that his objections to
4* policy aré founded not in opposition to the
■equal distribution of the proceeds of the. pub-
Bfc lands, but, mark the words, to the precedent
that might thereby be established as a uniform
ilk far distributing the surplus revenue de-
rived from import duties. We make the fol-
THE THAUMGIVnrO DINNEB-
Elder Sniffles,
riving sermon, is inti
shed the Thinks^
to dine with Mr.
KLDEB SKIFFLES UNDER CIRCUMSTANCES.
" Elder Sniffles, let me give you another piece
o' the turkey."
" I'm obliged to you, Mr. Maguire ; you pro-
bably recollect that I remarked n my discourse
this morning, that individuals were too prone to
indulge in excessive indulgences in creature
comforts on thanksgiving occasions. In view
of the lamentable fact that the sin of gorman-
dizing is carried to a sinful excess on this day,
I, as a preacher of the Gospel, deem it my duty
to be unusually abstemious on such occasions;
nevertheless, considering the peculiar circum-
stances under which I am placed this day, I
think I will waive objections, and take another
small portion of the turkey."
" That's right Elder; what part will you
take now t"
>' Well, I'm not particular, a small quantity
of the br£2St, with a part of a ley and some
of the stuffing, will be quite sufficient."
« Pass the cranberries to Elder Sniffles, Jeff.
Elder, help yourself; wile, give the Elder some
more turnip sass and potater."
" Thank you, Mrs. Maguire. I am an advo-
cate for vegitable diet—and have always main-
tained that it is more congenial to individuals
of sedentary habits and intellectual pursuits
like myself, than animal food."
Jeff, my son, pass the* bread. Sister Be-
send your plate for some more of the
o, I'm obleeged to you—I've had suffi-
lowin* extract
of
■J Calhoun said, that if the
codd be confined to
public lands, he would acknowledge
Mi objection to the principle would be
He dreaded the force of precedent,
aaw that the time would come,
th* example of the distribution of the
would be urged as a reason for
the revenue derived from other
JMithen was Mr. Calhouns' objection to
the distribution policy in 1833, and this we
•Hoat the " cómase and masterly argument'
• it. Art what if Mr. Calhoun did op-
s the doctrine of distribution, a Democratic
has repeatedly approved the policy
Pres.
[ and announced the doctrine
the old hero, yet the end is not,
of «atea of land have been donated
fcr the purpose of local improvement; and to
«I* ? why in nine cases out of ten, to the
Open and avowed enemys of the South, thus
kAü|íig the rights of the South.
** Té yew toots, O Israel I"
? LOV1 nr CHIVA
|. Meadow's History of the Chinese and their
Bwhmim, lately published in London, is the
philosophical work which has yet appear-
ed ontha Chinese. A chapter on Love, con-
feias the following story:
^ A .Chinese, who had bean disappointed in
mmOge,.*nd had grievously suffered through
mmmim many otherway^-retired with his
Wwt son to the peaks o t a mountain range, in
lweKchoo,*D a spot quite inaccessible to a lit-
tie looted Chinese women. He trained the boy
to wonhip the gods and stand in awe and ab-
apmuui. of the devils; but he never mentioned
woman to hha, and always descended the moun-
ba7 food. At lengthy, however,
toe infirmities of age compelled him, to take
•n yonqg man with luía to carry the heavy
ng of nee. As they vrere leaving the market
departs from his usual diet.
-Jeff, cut the chicken pie."
■" Sure enough, I almost forgot that I was to
carve the pie. Aunt Silly, youll take a piece
of it, won't yon I"
" Well, I dont cane if I dew take a leettle
mite on't I'm a great favoryite o' the chicken
pie—always thought 'twas a delightful bever-
age—don't you„Elder ?"
A very just remark, Mrs. Bedott—very in-
deed—chicken pie is truly « very desirable ar-
ticle <ef food."
■" Allow me to help you to sowed? it, Elder.''
•" Thank you, my friend; as t before re-
marked, I am entirely opposed to an immoder-
ate indulgence of the appetite at all times, but
particularly on thanksgiving occasions—and
am myselfWuwtjp somewhat abstemious. How-
ever, I consider it my duty at the present time
to depart, to some ex^nt, from the usual sim-
plicity of my diet. I will, therefore, comply
with yoar request, and partake of the chicken
pie.""
" Take some o' the cranberry sass, Elder;
cranberries is hulsomo."
* A very just remark, Mrs. Maguire; they
are so. Nevertheless, I maintain that we should
not indulge too freely, in even the most whole-
some of creature comforts; however^ since you
desire it, I will take a small Jwrtioa of the
cranberries."
THE ELDER HAS AN ACtft STOJÍACIÍ-.
" Husband, dew pass that pickled tongue—
it hain't been touched. Take some on't, Elder
Sniffles."
•" I'm obleeged to you, Mrs. Maguire—but I
confess I am somewhat fearful of taking arti-
cles of that description on my stomach, as they
create a degree of acidity tliat is incompatible
with digestion. Is it not so, my young friend ?
You arc undoubtedly prepared to decide, as
you are, I believe, pursuing the study of the
medical science."
" I think you are altogether mistaken, Elder
Sniffles. We should always take a due pro-
yortion os acid with our food, in order to pre-
serve the equilibrium of the internal economy,
and produce that degree of cffervesence which
is necessary to a healthy secretion."
" Exactly. Your view of the subject is one
which never struck me before; it seems a very
just one. I will partake of the picklcd tongue
in consideration of your remarks."
" Take a slice on't sister Bedott You seem
to need something to-day—you're uncommon
still."
" What a musical man you be, Brother Ma-
E'rel but it strikes me when an individual
i an opportunity of hearing intellectible con-
versation they'd better keep still and improve
it. Arn't it so, Elder Sniffles ?"
" A very just remark, Mrs. Bedott; and one
which has often occurred to my own mind."
h Take some more of this chicken pie. El-
Der Sniffles."
" Excuse me, my young friend; I will take
nothing more."
" What! you don't mean to give it up yet,
is composed of so great a variety of togrédf-
ents. I esteem it exceedingly difficult of di-
gestion. Is it not so, my young friend ?"
? By no means, Elder—quite the contrary,
and the retóon is obvious. Observe, Elder, it
is cut into the most minute particles; hetice it
naturally follows that being, as it were, fcbm-
calcined before it enters the system, ft
So to Speak, ho lábor to be performed by
the digestive organs, and it is disposed of with-
out any difficulty."
" Ah, indeed, your reasoning is quite new to
me, yet I confess it to be most satisfactory and
lucid. In consideration of its facility of diges-
tion, I will partake also of the mincc pie."
the elder thinks cider nütricious.
Wife, fill the Elder a glass of cider."
" Desist, Mrs. Maguire, desist, I entreat you.
—I invariably set my face like a flint against
the use of all intoxicating liquors as a beVcr-
" Jimmeni, yon don't mean to call new cider
an intoxicating liquor, I hope. Why, man
alive, it's jest made—hain't begun to work."
" Nevertheless. I believe it to be exceeding-
ly insalubrious, and detrimental to the system.
Is not that its nature, my young friend ?"
" Far from it Elder—far from it. Reflect a
moment, and you will readily perceive that, be-
ing the pure juice of the apple—wholly free
from all alcoholic mixture—it possesses all the
nutritive properties of the lruit, with the ad-
vantage of being in a more condensed form,
which at once renders it much more agreeable,
and facilitates assimilation."
" Very reasonable—very reasonable, indeed,
Mrs. Maguire, you may fill my glass."
" Take another slice of the pudding, Elder
Sniffles."
"No more, I'm obleeged to you, Mr. Ma-
guire."
" Well, won't you be helped to some more of
the pie?"
+' No more, I thank you, Mr. Maguire."
" Bat you'll take another glass o' cider, won't
you?"
" In consideration of the nutritious proper-
ties of new cider, which your son has abun-
dantly shown to exist, I will permit you to re-
plenish my glass."
thb wj3eb illustrates his principles by
example^
So you won't take nothin' more, Elder ?"
" Notliing more, my friends—nothing more,
whatsoever; for, as I
I hope, Elder ?"
" Ind<
ndeed, Mr. Maguire, I assure you I would
rather not take anything more, for as I before
remarked, I am decidedly opposed to excessive
eating upon this day."
the elder oversteps his usual boundary.
" Well, then, well have the pies and puddins.
have several times re-
marked during the repast, I am an individual
of abstemious habits—endeavoring to enforce
by example that which I so strenuously enjoin
by precept from the pulpit, to wit—temper-
ance in all things."
" Walk into the sitting too'm, Elder."
©OJTTMKBOTTHE ttBDd
How often have we Uttered the injunction
to our readers, and especially our agricultural
ones, that they should not kUl the birds. They
are the farmer's best friends; in killing them
he is injuring himself. And still, though this
has been pressed upon their attention, too often
do we see heartless individuals putting them
out of the way by wholesale. Again.we would
request the farmers of Lancaster county, in the
ge of a welh-informed Writer to " spare
the birds.* " Summer is Close at han<^ and
with its pleasures Will come the daily nuisahce
to those who dwell amid rural scenes of hear-
ing the soft notes of the shot-gUn." Every
one Who has paid attention to the matter knows
that even crows and blackbirds are productive
of more good than harm, and that the vast in-
crease of late years of destructivé insects is
owing almost entirely to the wanton destruc-
tion of birds which are not even legitimate
game. A thousand plans have been suggested
for the destruction of the eirculio, all of which
have proved worthless. We have one which
we know to be infallible—" protect the birds."
" The swallows are the natural enemies of
the swarm:ng insects, living almost entirely up-
on them, taking their' food uppn the wing;
The common martins devour great quantities
of wasps, beetles, and goldsmiths. A single
bird will devour five thousand butterflies in a
week. The moral of this is, that the husband-
man should cultivate the society of swallows
and martins about his land and building. The
sparrows and wrens feed upon the crawling in-
sects which lurk within the buds, foliage, and
flowers of plants. The wrens are pugnacious,
and a little box in a cherry tree will soon be
appropriated by them, and they will drive
away other birds that feed upon the fruit, a
hint that cherry-growers should remember this
spring and act upon. The thrushes, blue-birds,
jays, and crows, rely upon butterflies, grass-
hoppers, crickets, locusts, and the larger bee-
tles. A single family of jays will consume
twenty thousand of these in a season of three
months. The wood-peckers are armed with
stout long bills to penetrate the wood of trees,
where the borers deposit their larvae. They
live alteost entirely upon these worms. For
the insects that come abroad only during the
night, nature has provided a check in the noc-
k CASE OF COKSCIEKCE-
"Friend Broadbrim,"—said Zephanniah
Straightlace to his mas.er, a rich Quager of t^e
Citytif Brotherly Love, "thou can'stnoteat
'óf that leg of mutton at thy noontide table to-
day." ,
'• Wherefore not ?" asked the good old Qua-
ker.
" Because the dog that appertaineth to that
son of Belial, whom the world calleth Lawyer
Foxcraft, hath come into thy pantry and stolen
it-7—yea, and he hath eaten it up."
" Beware friend Zephanniah, of bearing false
witness against thy neighbor. Art thou sure
it was friend Foxcraft's domestic animal ?"
"Yea, verily, I saw it with mine own eyes,
and it was Lawyer Foxcraft's dog, even Pinch
'em"
"Upon what evil times have we fallen,"
sighed the harmless secretary, as he wended his
way to the office of his neighbor.
" Friend Gripus," said he, " I want to ask
thy opinion."
" I am all attention," replied the scribe, lay-
ing down his pen.
" Supposing, friend Foxcraft, that my dog
has gone into thy neighbor's pantry, and stolen
a leg of mutton, and I saw him, and could call
him by name, what ought I to do ?"
" Pay for the mutton : nothing is clearer."
" Know, then, friend Foxcraft, thy dog, even
the beast men denominate Pinch 'em, hath sto-
len from my pantiy a leg of mutton, of the just
value of four shiliings and sixpence, which I
paid for it in the market this morning."
" 0, well, then, it is my opinion that I must
for itand having done so, the worthy friend
turned to depart.
" Tarry yet a little, friend Broadbrim," cried
the Lawyer. " Of a verity I have yet further
to say unto thee. Thou owest me nine shillings
for advice."
" Then verily I must pay thee, and it is my
opinion that I nave touched pitch and been de-
filed."
k MODEL WIFE.
Anecdote of Senator Toombs.—The fol-
lowing anecdote is told of Senator Toombs,
while he Vas an old line Whig Representative
in Congress. Meeting the Rev. George Pierce,
now Bishop, with whom he was cm familiar
tri MM) In iiiimr*">d •
" Friend George, it strikes me that you and
I are engaged in pretty much the same call-
ing."
" How is that ?" inquired the Bishop.
" Why," replied Toombs, " you are fighting
the Devil, and I am fighting the Democrats,
and I don't see much difference in the warfare."
T
ago, and we presume were these old friends to
meet now, George might say, "Bob, I'm still
fighting the Devil, what are you doing ?"
" Well, George, now I fully understand the
truth of the following verse from Pope:
" Democracy la a monster of so frightful mien,
As to be hited, needs bat to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with in face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace,"
__ „ • , -, „i tie barn owl, which take their food upon the
Jeff, my son, fly round and helpyour mar change w¡ How wonderful is this provision of,"
the plato. 111 take the puddin, Melissy. you > prov¡jence for the restraint of depredators d
may tend to the pies. Jeff, set on the cider., ^ ]¡ve the labors of man and how care_
So here's a plum puddin—it looks nice ; I we sho¿ld ^ not to dispute that beneficial
'— 1 luck to-day, Wife, bis- . . r. .
Steeple Chasing in France.—It appears
that the exciting field sport of steeple chases,
which are so popular with the fox hunting gen-
try in the United Kingdom, is also in vogue in
France, and participated in by the accomplished
and daring horsemen of that country. A Pa-
ris letter of April 16th, says :
" Yesterday—Palm Sunday—scores of thou-
sands , in all the large divisions of the metro-
polis, carried in their hands, sprigs of the box
tree. The churches were thronged,—morning
and afterrtoon; every Theater overflowed. But
the rush of population through the Champs
Elysees, proceeding to the neighborhrod of Ver-
sailles to enjoy the steeple chases, exceeded any
spectacle of quickly moving and motley multi-
tudes, that We have witnessed since last sum-
men
The great annual handicap was won by Mr.
Manby's Dean—master and horse English—
over four horses of renown on the turf: The
leaps were twenty-seven; three steeds were put
hors de combat. It was arranged that several
English officers should repair, next month, to
the saifte race course, in order to take a part in
a grand steeple chase, in which officers of the
English and French armies are alone to be al-
lowed to figure." *
A blacksmith who fancied himself sick, would
often tease a neighboring physician to give him
relief. The physician knew that he was per-
fectly well; unwilling to offend him, told him
he should be careful of his diet, and not to eat
anything heavy or windy.
The blacksmith went off satisfied; but in
revolving in his own mind what kind of food
was heavy or windy, he returned to the doctor,
who having lost his temper with his patient,
said :
" Don't you know what things are heavy and
windy ?"
" No," said the blacksmith.
" Why. then, I will tell you," says the doctor,
your anvil is heavy, and your bellows is windy;
don't eat either of these, and you will do very
well."
day,
¡ve some on't f"
guess you've had
ter Bedott, you'll
" No, I'm obleeged to ye! I've1 got rather of
a headache to-day, and ptony-pttddin-'s1 rich. I
guess 111 take a small pieee o' the pumpkin-
pie.'"
•* Elcjer Sniffles, youll be helped; ftr sorflfe on't
of course?"
law of compensation by which all things are
established in their just relations and propor-
tion !"—Lancaster (Pa.) Whig.
Á gTfeen Yankee stepped from a steamboat a
few days since, on one of our wharves; and so
confotinded was he by the confusion and tur-
J moil of the scene, the jam of vehicles, the
r~ • ,, ,, . .. * -vmoil or the scene, ine jam oi vemeies, me
Indeed, Mr. ^ ° crowds of cartmen and hackmen, touting and
dulgmg i articles of this descnption aficr ^t- t ^ ghdter ^ the ^
the utmo8tSconsternatiofff
s? b)'*"idcrio tin"-
««*- tlep^uiiar : 5-° V.Tl.'lllte feto)," hf, opening
ces of the occasion, I , his eyes vrith astonishment, "ain't 1 in York,
the boundaries which-I have prescribed-for my. ? Jn Trepidation, am I ? I'll be darned
M^whatarethey?"
irith Üx
tiring ? took I
The father hastily an-
_ . o«der—>Tura
are devil !" The son. in
turned away, noticing that the evil
gazing at him with surprise from
theirpans. He walked to the moun-
am silence, ate no supper, and from that
Ida appetite and was afflicted with mel-
r. For aome time his anxious and puz-
' parent could get no satisfactory answer to
5 ' but at length the young man
solf
" An* I to understand that you'll have some,
or not?"
" I will partake in consideration of time and
place."
" «femmeni! wife, this is good1 puddin' as I
ever eat."
the elder partakes of pumpkin and
mince pie.
" Elder Sniffles will you take some o' the pie?
Here is a mince pie and punkin pie."
" I will take a small portion of the pumpkin
_ _ pie, if vou please, Miss Maguire, as I consider
with inexplicable pain—"Oh^ it: highly nutricious; but as regards mince pie,
' devil—that tallest devil—jit is an article of food which Ideem excessively
' deleterious to the constitution, inasmuch as it
if I ever heard of that place before."
A Frenchman who was exhibiting some rel-
ics and other euriosities, produced, among other
things, a sword, which he assured his visitors
was de sword Balaam had, * hen he would kill
de ass. A spectator remarked that Balaam had
no sword, but only wished for one.
" Very well, dis is de one he wished for."
An Irishman meeting a countryman, inquired
his name.
" Walsh," saidthe gentleman.
" Walsh," responded Paddy, " art ye from
Dublin? I knew two ould maids there of that
; name; waa either of 'em your mother ?"
The following anecdote is related of Doctor
Arne, the celebrated music composer of the
last century :■
Two gentleffiteh'having differed in opinion
which Was the best singer, it was agreed to
leave the (ase to Dr. Arne, Who, having heard
them both, observed to the'last gentleman that
sung—
" Sir, without offence, you are the worst
singer I ever heard in all my life."
' There! there!" exclaimed the other, exult-
ingly; I told you so, I told you so."
•' Sir," said the Doctor, " you must not say
a word, for you cannot sing at all."
Winning a Bet.—A Georgia negro was
riding a mule along, and came to a bridge, when
the mule stopped.
"I'll bet you qoarter," said Jack, "<'11
make you go ober dis bridge," and with that
struck the mule over the ears, which made him
nod his head suddenly. " You take de bet,
den," said the negro, and contrived to get the
stubborn mule over the bridge.
"X Won dat quarter, anyhow," said Jack.
" But how will you get your money?" said a
man close by, unperceived.
" Tó-mOrrow," said Jack."
"How?" m
" Massa gib me a dollah get com,- an' I take
de qpartee out.-'
Perhaps few men are more observed
Of women, than your humble servant;
And none, perhaps, can boast more knowledge,
Unless, perchance, he's been to college.
I've traveled some, Tve lived at home,
In taking notes, I write them down,
And mostly in a handy pocket,
My friends will find a good-sizad docket
I find my labor compensated,
By knowledge that accumulated,
And always in my book of notes
I intersperse soma anecdotes.
But what I wish to say that's funny,
Is close allied to matrimony,
A first-rate wife is just the wrinkle
That any time wonld suit your uncle.
As time goes on and age advances.
Of course we sometimes meet with chances,
But then our notions deeply rooted,
Has rendered us not easy suited.
Some are proud and dress too flashy,
Some too thin and some too fleshy,
Some too short you cannot love 'em,
And some so long they're way above theni,
Some laugh too loud and some too lazy,
Some too cute, and sonte too crazy,.
Some scold too much to suit the gents,
And some would like to waar the pants.
Some are too nice, or too exquisite,
Some think they're pretty while they miss ft,
And some indeed—you often find 'em—
In sweep ing, leave the dirt behind 'em.
Now some must always liave their silk oa;
Too delicate to do the milking.
And sometimes as the notion took 'em, . ,
Would scream for fear the cows would hook 'enL
Such girls as those don't fill my wishes,
They might refuse to wash the dishes,
Or scour the spoons or make the bods,
Or even comb the children's heads.
You'd best not marry snch a madam,
They'd hnrdly suit you if you had 'em, ,
And sometimes when you try to get 'em,
lliey run just like a snake had bittern:
X meant to tell at first, but conldn't,
Just what would suit and what Wouldn't,
And since describing Kate, Mol, Sal, Nance,
I'll now proceed and write the balance.
My wife of course must be a woman,
As neat, and smart, and good as common,
Know how to roast a leg of mutton,
To mend a rent or stitch a button.
A poet wouldn't suit my whims.
For one's enough to write the rhymes,
Nor would I have one cross and spunky,
Nor bean-pole tall, or tad-polo chunky.
She must have sense, a graceful actioc,
Some modesty, and wit a fraction,
"Biit fiOTBeor-tnatwsno uin— ~
Whose conduct favors Balaam's—horse.
Now such a model I could fancy.
Whether her name was Kate or Nancy,
I nevor saw just such a critter,
But what I thought I'd like to get her.
HOOPS " A HTJNDKED TEARS AGO-"
Surely, "there's nothing new under the sun,"
as the following quotation from one of the po-
ems of the poet Gray will show. The poem is
a description of the conceits and fashions of the
times at Stoke Pogis. It would seem that
hoopf were no more a novelty in those days
than in this progressive age:
"Fame
Had told that thereabouts there lurk'd
Who prowl'd the country far and near,
Bewitch'd the children of the peasants,
Dried np the cows and lamed the deer,
And suck'd the eggs and killed the pheasants.
My lady heard their joint petition,
Swore by her coronet and ermins,
She'd issue ont her high commission
To rid the manor of such vermin.
On the first marchigg of the troops,
The Muses, hopeless of his pardon,*
Convey'd him underneath their hoops
To a small closet in the garden."
tor peutteb and the stftchkáh.
A Dutchman sitting at the door of his tav-
ern in the far West, is approached by a tall;
thin Yankee, who is emigrating westward, orí
foot, with a bundle on a cane over his shoulder:
"Yell, Misther Valking Stick, vot does you
vant?" .j. ..
" Rest and refreshment," replied the Weary
traveler.
" Supper and lotching I refckon."
" Yes, 9upper and lodging, if you please."
" Pe ye a Yankee pedlar mit cnewlry m your
pack, to shear the gals ?',
" No, sir, I am no Yankee pedlar."
RESPECTABILITY
Nery recently Mr. Forrest played an engage-
ment in Baltimore. One morning, while at
breakfast, says a cotemporarv, the colored man
that waited on him, ventured to say— .
" Massa Forrest, I seed you plav Wirginius
de oder night—I golly, you played him right up
to de handle. I tink dat play just as good as
Hamlet Was it writ by the same man Í."
" Oh, no," said the taagedian, amused at the
fcommunicative spirit of his sable friend,Ham-
let was written by Shakspeare, and Yfrghiius
by Knowles."
" Well," said the waiter, " dey's bofe mighty
smart fellows. I'm an actor myself."
" You I" said the astonished tragedian, "why,
where do you pláy ?" , . .
" Down in the 'sembly rooms," was the reply.
We'se got a theater, stage, and screncry, and
dresses, and ebery ting all right. We plays
dere beautiful."
"What have yoú evtr played?" .
" Why, I'se played Hamlet, and Polonius,
and de Grabe Digger, all ib de Same piece."
" How do jrou manage to rehearse ?" .
" Why ¿we waits till de work is done, den we
all go down to de kitchen, and rehearses."
" But what do you do for ladies ?" asked Mr.
Forrest.
, " Ahí dar we stick! We can't get no la-
dies."
" Why, won't the colored ladies play ?"
" Oh, no," said the colored actor," de colored
ladies tink it too degrading."
The great tragedian asked no inore questibtis.
Virtue is no security in this world. What
can be more upright than pump logs and edi-
tors ? Yet both are destined to be bored.
Rights of Neutrals in Time of Was.—
Though Great Britain entered willingly into
the proposal of the Paris .Copieceiibe to úboP
ish privateering, it is not dispt&ea to agree to
the proposition of Mr. Marcy, to our accept-
ance of the first proposition—that all merchant
vessels shall be free from capture during a time
of war. In á speech on the income tax, on
the 9th inst., Lord John Russell alluded to this
proposition of the American Secretary, as car-
rying in it an air óf philanthrbpy, but in prac-
tice was one which Would riot tend to prevent
war, and would cripple the energies of Great
Britain. Foreign nations now dread the naval
and are therefore dis-
with her If, on the con
that all their merchant vi
ed to pass in safety, one great
lining at peace would be taken
United States could march an
and Great Britain hate río
offensive operations against them Bo-
Americans would send out no navy.
; might resort to blockade, but blockade, as
* must be effectual, and, with the
extent of coast, this could not be
the entire force of the British navy:
not shut up Russia during the late war
,t country. Great Britain would there-
rendered in a measure powerless, arid
rould be more frequent: .He hoped tío
would set his seal to i treaty contain-
stipulation. Without this stipulatiota;
ted States will tíeveí dgfee 16 the tlea:
' Government went tó great length in
the modification it did, but it will
the right of privateering, in
chief naval powers resides, without
an equivalent which will guarantee the safety
of our commerce at all times.—Pub. Ledger.
I Idlm to Steal.—An amusing incident oc-
;urred in one of our down-east churches, some
The clergyman gave out on a plea^
i afternoon in July : t
ve to Steal awhile away1,
every Cumbring care; .
" the hour of setting day;
grateful prayer."
ef tfeitig absent, the duty
' good deacon M., who com-
1 lote to steal—"
and then bagged down—and then raising his
toice to á stiff higher pitch, he sung,
"I love to "
In
The regular
devolved upon
menced,
« Á singin-master, too lazy too lazy to vork, and as before, he concluded he had got ti*
, v„ b Wrong pitch,' Und deploring that he had not his
« xr« cir •> " pitch tuner," he determined to succeed if he
j^io, sir. .. .. _ J
u jf0) ár, or I should have mended my own
shoes."
" A pook ashent, vot bodders te school com-
mittee, till dey do vot you vish shoost to get
rid of you ?'
" Guess again, sir; I am no boos agent.
" Te tyfels! a dentist, preading the beebles
jaws, at a dollar a shrag, and runnin' off mit
my daughter?"
" No, sir, I am no tooth puller.
" Phrenologus, den, feelin te young folks'
heads like so many cabbitch ?"
" No, I am no phrenologist." ,
" Yell, den. vat te tyfels can you bte ? choost
tell and you shall haft the besht sassage for
supper, and shtay all night, free gratis; mitout a
cent, and a chiU of riskey to start mit inte
mbrnirig." , ,, , . . 4 .
-" I am an humble deciple of Faust—a pro-
fessor of the art preservative <?f all arts;—a ty-
pographer, at your service/'
"Yotsclidat?" v ...
" A printer, sir, a man that prints books awl
the godly and eccentric parson was laughing,
who aro6e, and With the utmost coolness said :
"Seeing our brother's propensities let us
pray 1" . ....... ,
It is needless to say that btrt few of that éótf
gregation' heard the prayer.
A snrettlar Discovery.—In 1852, a few
grains of Wheat' were discovered in the tombs
of some rifummies found in the south of France,
supposed to have been* two thousand years old.
These grain# of Egyptian wheat were planted
and produced, to the surprise of every one,
1,200 to one. The Government took the affair
in hand, and consigned the management of it
to the farmers of the Government farm at Ram-
bouillet. The result has been most astonishing.
Each year the product has been magnified in
such an immense proportion over the preceed-
irintsh noospapers! Oh, ing year that the Minister of Agricuiture is
it. A man vot printsh] now enabled to distribute over France a large
quantity of wheat to each of the departments
gratuitously, with instructions from the Gov-
ernment farm as to the best mode of cultivar
tion. At a late meeting of the Academy of
Science, the Baron de Menneville presented
several stalks of this regenerated Egypt wheat
which Were six feet high, and bore each several
fine ears. A French lady explained¡iff m/
hearing the other day this great multiplying
power of the Egyptian wheat by toe long rest
it had. It is a great and important disfcoftary
for the study of agriculturalists.-
- *■
newspapers.
•' Ah! a man vot
yaw! yaw ! ay, dat ish it. A man vot pi
noospapers! I vish I may be shot if I didn t
tink ybu vos a poor tyfel of a dishtnck school-
master, Who vurks for toting and boards round.
I tought yóU tros him. Yaw, yaw! Valk up."
The Dead Chu®.—Few things appear so*
beautiful as a young child in its shroud. The
little innocent face looks so sublimely simple ,ears;
and confiding amid the cold terrors of death.
Fearless, that little mortal has passed alone un-
der the shadow. There is death in its sublim-
est and purest image; no hatred, no hypocrisy,
irion, no care for the morrow ever dark-
ened tHat little face; death has come lovingly
upon it; there is nothing cruel or harsh in its
victory, , The yearnings of love, ii
bfe sfifed; fof thfe" prattle and
little Utorid of thoughts that were so delight
are gone for^Ver1.' -z£we, too, will overcast
in the presence of the lonely voyager; for
child has gone, ample and trusting, into
presence of an all wise Father; and of '
we know, is the kingdom of Heaven
The u]
branch of the N. York Legislar
„ ¿ed to' adjourn on Friday night,
irfcObseqñence of some scamp having strewn
the floor with Ceyenne pepper. *• —
As soon aa
the Senate had fairiy put'to work, an intense
excitement was created. The infinitesimal par-
ticles oí the fiery substance entered the usual
organs, eyes and mouths of the Senators, par
ees, and auditory, causing repeated numerous,
mi Icsj^Continued explosion of "a tw-ebee.
THE XOBXOH PRIESTHOOD-
The Mormon priesthood is a
system of police, compounded from the
ronic, Levitical, and Melchesideck
1 is known b
latter
the name of
iy Saints pf J<
Brigham Young is the prophet,
King of the saints. His will is law: ha is 1
vicegerent of God, deriving authority
from Him, which is absolute whatever he I
" thus saith the Lord." Brigham
the shoulders of his own counciuott;
stand upon the shoulders of the othár ten t
ties; they stand upon the shoulders of the!
priests ; they stand upon the shoulders of 1
bishops; they stand upon the shoulders of a
taina of fifties and seventies; they stand
T- ■. ^ ¡«of the "
they státíd upon the shohldefrs of the
masses who till the sbil, which supo
pile; From his towering height Bngham j
one teas ever known to dissent front hii itiil."
The entire fraternity is bound t ■*—i-
oaths, the most solemn to support
and nothing but the church, and eveiy
woman and child is constituted a police ol
always on duty, and required to report to
head whenever anything of sufficient
occurs to justify it From this you 1
fail to perceive that the Church fohtl, i
closely compacted Eystem of p
head from which it derives all power,
body forming a nucleus around which Ti-
ering the igflotttht, thfe superstitious, t
the outlaid, and the disaffected of all
in the world, who are taking refuge, as
Sü|^>06é, under the wings of the
last dispensation. However deluded^the gfeat
mqsé óf their followers may be, the leaden jtn
not deluded, but are knaves from choice; Wil-
fully misleading the masses for the
obtaining and wielding power, boldly
tog the overthrow of the Republic, when they
trill resume the reins of gnvehunent and pro-
claim Mormanistn to the benighted nations of
the world.—Correspondence of the National In-
telligencer.
Tb^ elections,to IrelatjU, had tiqHfe
usual crop of rioting and disturbance. In I
go the military were called out, and
sailed fiercely with stones. Hie riot
read three times, without effect The police!
were much hurt; a county magistrate was
knocked down and beaten, several private
dwellings were assailed and ¡
No lives were lost In
scenes were ehactedi Business was i
arid shops áfíd hoftées were Closed.
curred Before the' day of election, and in i
quence of one of the candidates canva
electors in person, the police and
quelled the riot with great difficulty.
A Vert Sad Affair.—The Eransvills
Journal, of Saturday, reports the following
exceedingly melancholy incident:
A gentleman and lady arrived at the Pavil-
ion Hotel on Thursday evening with the corpse
of a young man (who had died that dáy oa
steamer Eiripress: , The deceased
was betrothed to the lady, and with her áqd
his friend were goihg South on the Empress.
On Thursday morning, while the deceased was
sitting with the lady on deck, apparently ja
good health, his head sank .upon, nis botoin,
and when the lady tnrned to address him he
was dead. The party left the boat at Hender-
son, and were bearing the young man's remains
to his home in Maryland The lady's grirf
¿rot what á day may bring forth."
to witoe^—her bright a&
fifir
Know
tions for the future (Ol brushed awa;
'strong arnf of death. YefBy " we
- * fiwi,
Áii old maid speaking of marriage, says it ii
like any other disease; while there is life
is hope."
were tittering
3 of the young
uns, were all in a broad grin. At length, af-
ter a desperate cough, he made a final demon-
stration, and roared out
" J love to steal—99 . ,, . \ f
Ttiia effort was too much; every other, bát *. An InFekénce, An editor speaking of a
An Sged Quakeress was seen intently j
upon a richly embroidered satin, display*
dry goods store, in Grand street An Ii
pa'ssing, smiled as he saw the fascination upon
the dame.
< Ah,' said he, ' that's Satan tempting Era*
i i •
Inflammatory rhumatism, it istaid, cut bo
cured to a short time by the following simple
method, which #e extract from a medical pub
lication:
Half aft1 ounce of pulverizod saltpetre, puCia
half a pint of sweet oil Bathe the parts ef-
fected, and a sound cure will speedily follow.
talk te
treasure
steamboat, sayB:
She haft twelve berths itf her ladies' cabin.—
" Oh, life 6f éie!" exclaimed Mrs. Pi
upon teaJding this, " what a1 squalling
must have been 1"
P'iottá Darkey.—'• Sam, why don't you
your master, and tell hiin to lay up his i
in heaven T"
Practical Sam.—" What's dé use him laying
up his treasure due, when he nebber see ma
again?"
The SlaveTrade.—Hie Washington Union1
has the Mowing intelligence from the StáÜé'
Department:
A correspondent at St Paul de Loanda,
writes, that the slave trade on the coast is now
flonsishing. It is said that five vessels have
lately left with slaves.
Congo river and its neighborhood, hevé
been the headquarters, and American gold is
now quite plenty there, having been brought
in vessels which dear from N. York—some for
Cape de Verde, and some* for Loanda, but
which seldom arrive at those placea.
The Got. of Illinois, in his recent Mes-
sage, expressed the belief that the revenué
of the Illinois Central Railroad will aooa
pay the whole expefises Of the State Govern-
ment.
" Why didn't you catch that coon when jm¿
got so near him in the tree, Cuffy V
" Cause, massa, one of us Ml karthumn oa
the ground, and when I looked round, I found
tww cus mgger neseii.
^A military captain in the Wait, by Oi
of Bhngs, has named his eldest son Skua,
a noisy fellow bell be, bat ~
the naáft
Is not every face beautiful in oar
habitually term towards us with
(uiMess sta3w?
Upcoming Pages
Here’s what’s next.
Search Inside
This issue can be searched. Note: Results may vary based on the legibility of text within the document.
Tools / Downloads
Get a copy of this page or view the extracted text.
Citing and Sharing
Basic information for referencing this web page. We also provide extended guidance on usage rights, references, copying or embedding.
Reference the current page of this Newspaper.
Pendleton, W. J. The Washington American. (Washington, Tex.), Vol. 2, No. 28, Ed. 1 Tuesday, May 26, 1857, newspaper, May 26, 1857; Washington, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth182000/m1/1/?q=%22%22~1: accessed July 16, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu.; crediting The Dolph Briscoe Center for American History.